Everyone argues sometimes – yes, even on holiday together – and few of us have done so without ever losing our temper or saying things we regret.
You might think it's better, therefore, to avoid arguing altogether. Not so. John Gottman, professor emeritus at the University of Washington, refers to this as "stonewalling" and warns it's one of four strategies (along with criticising, showing contempt, and acting defensively) that can effectively predict the ending of a relationship.
Keeping communication lines open even when you disagree – perhaps especially when you disagree – is vital if you want to enjoy a fulfilling, lasting relationship.
When Joseph Grenny, co-author of Crucial Conversations: Tools for Talking When Stakes Are High, asked 1000 adults about their relationship, he found those who argued (effectively) were 10 times more likely to have a happy relationship than those who avoided dealing with disagreements, while 80 per cent of respondents added that poor communication was one reason their previous relationships had failed.