Are good manners too much to ask?

In the modern day there are dozens of social exchanges that crop up every day, where a little common courtesy can make all the difference. Photo / iStock.

I've gone down this road before, so apologies if I'm repeating myself. I should probably leave things well alone, but a whole bunch of stuff has started to annoy me all over again and it is undoubtedly best I get it out of my system before it evolves into something dark, lurking in my psyche.

I guess the best way to explain what I'm getting at here is with the most common example of what irks me: when you are driving along a narrow road and someone going the other way pulls over to let you through, it does not hurt you to raise a hand to acknowledge this small act, to say thank you for making my day just that teensy bit better. In other words: common courtesy.

I really don't want to write about this stuff, because it makes me sound like an old fuddy-duddy, and I am not an old fuddy-duddy. Well, I'm pretty sure I'm not, which is close enough for me and if there are young people out there who disagree, then that is their problem.

But I digress. The point here is that simple good manners, and these small acts of civility, I think are important to our lives. Every day, as we go about our daily business, we undertake many many social interactions, usually with complete strangers, and surely if each one of those is made infinitesimally better through some courtesy and a dash of kindness then it must all add up right? And who knows, maybe on some days these tiny acts can end up making the difference between you having a good day or having a shit one.

Raising a hand from the steering wheel to say "thanks, mate" to someone letting you through is not hard. It takes (literally) little or no effort. It is certainly more polite than staring straight ahead like the other car doesn't exist and it was your God-given right to have right of way. Sure, there are times when we all forget to do this because we're lost in thought or singing along to the radio or whatever but, as a general rule of thumb for this particular social interaction, the raising of the hand is not a bad habit to fall into, is it?

If someone holds a door open for you, chances are it is not a political act or a statement on gender roles or anything that has an underlying message; chances are it is simply someone being polite. Likewise someone standing to one side to let the other person through. It does not kill to say "thanks"; it is not letting any particular side down to say "ta" or utter any form of acknowledgement you so desire, just to be polite in response to some politeness.

You see? You see my problem? Here I am, feeling like I'm lecturing on the subject of politeness. I don't want to be that person. Yet I am strangely compelled to, because of this belief that everything and anything we can do to help us get through the day with the minimum of stress, then the better off we are as a society.

There are those people who actively hate the practice of shop-people throwing in a "have a nice day" at the conclusion of shopping transactions. They see it as a faux-American affectation that has no sincerity or meaning behind it. So what? Does it really matter if they mean it or not? Why not believe in their sincerity and say "you too" back? Hell, even if they said it in a tone where they might as well have said "have a nice root canal", rise above that, be the better person: "you too". Sure it may not be real but if one of you walks away feeling that tiny bit better about things, where's the harm?

There are heaps of these random social exchanges that crop up every day, where a little courtesy can make all the difference - merging like a zip at motorway on-ramps; pointing the bar-staff in the direction of someone you know was waiting to be served before you.

In all these, the rule of thumb, I reckon, is that we are social creatures, so being social is the way to go. There is more than enough rage and antagonism in the world to be going on with, so taking the opportunity to add little dollops of niceness to the world must surely be worth the effort - especially when the effort required is nothing at all.

Nice, I fully realise, is not a fashionable word, but surely that doesn't meant that being nice should go out of fashion.

But enough. Here endeth the rant. Thank you for reading and, please, do have a nice day.

- Canvas