All you need is love on your wedding day

Nicole Kidman is a hard act to follow. In her best role yet, the Hollywood star in a white Balenciaga gown and veil, and clutching a bouquet of white roses, rekindled the white-wedding fantasy. It was a showy start to the wedding season, and may have inspired a few brides to reconsider puff sleeves.

Some brides have grown up with a Cinderella fantasy, planning their special day with all the verve of a corporate events manager. They trawl wedding websites, gather stacks of bridal magazines, and follow each step of the wedding planner with the steely resolve of an army general.

Sometimes the jitters set in and casualties abound. One bride became so malnourished her doctor had to hook her up to a drip on the morning of her wedding. And let's not forget the bridezillas who flip out if the matron of honour displays a flicker of boredom.

Admittedly there's a lot to organise, and a whole industry thrives on this one day. After you've chosen the venue, photographer and florist, you can then order your personalised wine labels and the stamps for the thank you cards. As one bride commented: "I feel like it's a monster getting out of control."

Emma Green has a folder full of tear sheets in preparation for her January wedding to Dimitri. She is planning a wedding on a strict budget, and comparing prices is time-consuming. It has been worth the effort; she bought alcohol when it was on special at the supermarket and found a suitably priced venue.

As Green's partner is Greek they are planning a Greek Orthodox ceremony, and yes, there will be some plate smashing. "I fell in love with Greek culture. My future in-laws didn't pressure us to have a traditional Greek wedding, but I thought it would be respectful as we're part their lives."

Those who can afford it hire a wedding planner. It's just a little disturbing when the ad promises to make your wedding equal to the eighth wonder of the world. For those with budget and time constraints, ask others for favours.

Television producer Rachel Antony was tied up with a hectic work schedule days before her wedding to Rob Cassels, owner of Salad Works. The couple called on friends and family to help to organise their evening wedding at Auckland's Secret Garden.

"I just wanted a big party. It did help that I married someone in the hospitality industry. We met in a bar, so it was important that we had special cocktails."

The wedding preparations were a team effort. Friends helped to tend the bar, bake the cake, organise the platters and do the makeup, and a canny film buddy scored some upmarket portaloos.

Antony's theatre-director father transformed the venue into a fairy grotto. Her mother sewed the bridal gown, her godfather did the flowers and her godmother married the couple. "We were so lucky that so many people gave us their time and skills."

Antony may work on reality shows, but she's not one to dramatise the planning stages. "I say just do it. It doesn't take 18 months to decide on a venue, order some booze and tell your friends you'd like to see them there."

Another pet hate is couples who disappear for hours with the photographer. "We stayed in the same place. A photographer friend took our photos and we had a lot more candid shots than posed ones."

Examine a few wedding albums and you'll find sensible people galloping through vineyards, perched on clifftops and skipping along tidal beaches just to preserve the romantic moment.

Tina Newman and her groom Dan helicoptered to the Remarkables for their final wedding photos. Newman sensibly wore thermal underwear and Ugg boots under her white gown.

"The cold on top of the mountain was so extreme we didn't stay there longer than 10 minutes, but the memory will stay with us forever."

The couple's wedding took place at the exclusive Millbrook Resort just outside Queenstown, and the bridal party was ferried around in golf carts. The couple was serenaded by a string orchestra and exchanged vows under a floral archway. "It was Dan's idea to get married in an alpine setting, and even though I'm a sun lover, I wouldn't have changed one thing."

Last year the couple had a second wedding in her Greek homeland. "It was another dream wedding, although it was totally different getting married in summer."

Newman is now six months pregnant and plans to become a wedding planner. As a financial controller-cum-administration manager for a telecommunications company, it seems appropriate to name her company Beyond the Diamond.

Despite all the fine tuning, there will always be horror stories. The vintage car that broke down on the way to the church, the celebrant who turned up with bruises on her arm, and the shrunken cake that arrived with dead flowers. All true.

To avoid any clashes with your groom, heed his requests - especially if he's rugby mad. When Anna O'Connor married at her parents' Napier farm, she seated the guests according to provincial teams.

There was a minor ruckus after the bride was forced to mix some Otago and Northland fans, but a beer sorted it. The black-and-green themed wedding took place in a marquee, and the couple sensibly ordered a generator as it was held in a remote area. It was pure luck the couple was blessed with a sunny day.

Living in Auckland and planning a wedding down country was tricky. O'Connor had just six months to organise the event, and left much of it in her mother's capable hands.

"I could have done with a couple more of months more, but Eamon's dad was ill and we wanted to make sure he could attend. A wedding is not just about the bride and groom."

Wedding tips

* You'll be eternally damned for seating your city-mouse friend next to your dull country-mouse relation. Assign people to a table, but let them decide the seating plan.

* Take pavlova and trifle off the menu - hire a chocolate fountain, with wedges of fruit for dipping.

* Lest your vows become just a tad long-winded, remember the law states you only have to say "I take you to be my wife/husband".

* Avoid bum notes by hiring professional musicians. As John Quigley from the Nairobi Trio says: you're getting 20 years of experience for one day.

* Avoid unsightly sweat marks on your bridal outfit by covering your armpits with tissue, or even better, hover over a freezer.

* Love should be the only four letter word you utter after the best man makes an inappropriate gaff.