Alien Time: Part 1

By DONNA MALANE, Illustrator RICHARD HORT

I guess I have to go back to the beginning for you to understand the whole story. Well, not right back to the beginning. Not back to when I was born or anything. That'd be pretty creepy.

Imagine if you could remember opening your eyes for the very first time in your life. The first thing you'd see is some doctor with a mask over his mouth staring at you. Babies must get a really weird first impression of what adults look like.

They must think, "Oh okay, when I'm an adult I lose my mouth and I grow this weird mask thing on my face. All right!' My mother, Joanne, just rolls her eyes around when I tell her stuff like that.

Or worse, she wants to "discuss' it and by the time she's finished "discussing' it, which is just her talking and pretending to listen to my view on it, I've missed 'The Simpsons'.

Publisher: Reed Publishing, $14.95