Any excuse to eat cake. The best one is low blood sugar levels in the afternoon. It makes afternoon tea sound like something the doctor would almost approve of.
Date scones, cupcakes, Belgian biscuits, melting moments, club sandwiches and a pot of tea certainly beat the dietitian's recommendation that a lone banana will do the trick.
That may well be, but it's hardly as much fun and not what Anna, the seventh Duchess of Bedford - credited with inventing afternoon tea - had in mind somewhere between 1830-1840, when she ordered her servants to bring bread, butter, cakes and tarts to her boudoir to get her through until dinner at 9pm. Soon she was inviting other famished women to join her in what was an instant hit that peaked with tea dances of the 1920s and 1930s.
Afternoon tea has largely been a women's club and as soon as women had to go to work, first as part of the war effort and then simply because they could, the tradition faltered.
Recently though, afternoon teas have been born-again as a way for women to get together and have a catch-up. Very civilised they are too. And the lure of a good lamington is too strong.
There are two ways to go. You either break out the good china and the Edmonds cookbook, or arrange to meet at a cafe that gets into the spirit of afternoon tea. We opted for the latter.
It's been a terrible job finding such places. Sometimes we had to have as many as seven little cakes and biscuits in one sitting. Here they are.
Brown Sugar Kitchen
754 Manukau Rd, Royal Oak;
ph (09) 625 1232
This place, run by former Rocket Kitchen workers Dianne Fraser and Cheryle Thomas, has been going for two years. "We're both more mature women so we've been brought up baking. Traditional baking's a lost art these days and we do the lovely old-fashioned favourites like Belgian biscuits and melting moments," says Fraser.
It was always meant to be a kitchen for people to grab a treat, as well as a wholesale bakery, whipping up divine individual-serve cakes for supply to 30 cafes in Auckland. You may know their famous passionfruit cupcakes with the swirls of icing piped all over the top from various cafes about town. But they found people coming in to buy wanted somewhere to sit, so installed a few tables and chairs for them to do just that 10 months ago.
Interior and ambience: As the cafe bit was an afterthought, this isn't the kind of place you really want to while away an afternoon. It's stinking hot inside and the al fresco seating is hardly idyllic as it's so close to the mammoth Royal Oak roundabout. However, the baking smells wafting forward from the kitchen are heart-warming and the wall of Rachel Carley's pretty pastel ceramics that are for sale are a nice touch.
Could you take your granny to it? Staff are friendly and not at all intimidating. If you don't take her, she'll find her own way there.
Teabags or tea leaves? Teabags.
What's on the menu? This is the best thing by far about Brown Sugar. It's all mouthwateringly good. In fact, you couldn't get a word out of us as we ate our way through a good part of their extensive cakes list with barely more than a grunt as we went. Couldn't tell you what the sandwiches or savouries were like. We had out mouths full of the sweet stuff. Our absolute favourite was the chocolate espresso cupcake. Incredible. As was the ginger crunch.
China? Nothing to write home about. Paper cups and stainless steel plates.
Agnes Curran
181 Ponsonby Rd, Freemans Bay;
ph (09) 360 1551
Cameron Woodcock opened on Valentine's Day three years ago with the intention of making it a "nice place to have coffee - like you're going to your grandmother's house for morning or afternoon tea".
Interior and ambience: So well kitted-out, it's hard to think about leaving. The entrance off the leafy Franklin Rd is via an unpretentiously French-feeling courtyard that, no matter how hot the afternoon, is always cool. The small place has the mother of all tables plonked centrestage. Then, eye up the fabulous vintage kitchen gear and Tony Sly pottery for sale. There aren't many other places where you can eat cake and shop simultaneously - most women's idea of heaven.
Could you take your granny to it? It appeals to cool film and fashion-type locals, but the owner says the clientele consists of "grannies and fags".
Teabags or tea leaves? Tea leaves.
What's on the menu? Small but perfectly formed. The chocolate lamingtons are legendary. Aside from the small selection of cakes and biscuits, the filled baguettes (the vegetarian with stuffed vine leaves, beetroot jam, hummus, feta and roasted capsicum is particularly good), pies and quiches mean there's also a bit of a lunch crowd too.
China? Standard issue cafe cups, but the teapots are cute and come with a built-in strainer. The cakes sometimes come on pretty china plates.
Cornwall Park Garden Cafe And Restaurant
Cornwall Park, ph (09) 630 2888
Set on the sunny side of Cornwall Park, the idyllic location of this cafe is a big plus. Verandas and decks make the most of the view overlooking mature trees, pretty flower beds and acres of green grass. Full marks to the cafe management for recognising a demand for morning and afternoon tea by providing a special Victorian Tea service, though a word of warning - tea is served between 9am and 11.30am and 2pm and 4pm and the rules can't be bent if you arrive a few minutes outside the official hours.
Interior and ambience: You really need to have a table with a view to make the most of this place. The window and outdoor tables overlook a classic park scene complete with cute cottage. However, the ambience outside is spoiled by the lower level being too integrated with the carpark. Overall, the venue falls slightly short of what it could be.
What's on the menu? It depends what time of day you come. It took three attempts before we were finally able to enjoy afternoon tea at this cafe. The first time we were turned away because the cafe had closed early (3.30pm) for a private function. Next we missed morning tea by 10 minutes - chef doesn't like to mix it with his lunch menu. But if you arrive before 11.30am and after 2pm Victorian Tea is served, presented dramatically on a three-tier plate stand. This includes three savoury micro pies, four club sandwiches, and five different sweets, per person, all of excellent quality.
Could you take your granny to it? Yes. If she's easy to please she'll love the view.
But if she's picky, she might zero in on its defects, like the rusty cake stand.
Teabags or tea leaves? Teabags.
What sort of china does it have? English china cups.
Stamford Plaza
22 Albert St, City, ph (09) 309 8888
This hotel is one of the few around town that encourages the custom of morning and afternoon tea. There are two versions - for the peckish there is an impressive High Tea, and for those who want to at least give the appearance that they are watching their waistline, there is Devonshire Tea. Served between the civilised hours of 11.30am and 4.30pm, there are some first-class touches that ensure the experience is special, such as the beautifully starched white napkins.
Interior and ambience: As part of the service offered by a five-star hotel, you enter the Stamford Plaza with some expectations of European class. The hotel lobby decor oozes understated elegance, though it is looking a bit tired and dated. High Tea is served in either the Polo Bar (think dimly-lit gentlemen's club) or the hotel lobby (a bit late-90s and sometimes filled with a busload of badly-dressed German tourists).
What's on the menu? Surprisingly limited. Either the Devonshire Tea, where you get a three small scones, jam and cream, with tea (or coffee), or High Tea, with finger sandwiches and cakes added on. Prices are at $10 and $18.50, respectively. The scones deserve a special mention for their light and fluffy texture and their ability to melt in your mouth. The other sweets, however, looked enticing but when it came to flavour only the meringue pie tasted as good as it looked.
Could you take your granny to it? She would love it. The plush surroundings would be the height of luxury to her.
Teabags or tea leaves? Teabags.
China? High class Japanese brand, Noritake. The impressively large teapot would easily serve about four.
City Cake Company
447 Lake Rd, Takapuna, Ph (09) 489 8833
Tracy Lucas had the idea to set up a place supplying the sort of bright, simple cakes that were harder to get 10 years ago when heavily creamed "overdone" cakes were all the rage. In April, the Mt Eden Rd store will cease to have a cafe - although you'll still be able to get your cakes there - leaving Takapuna as the only cafe site.
Interior and ambience: Cute. Unintimidating. Very white with the only blasts of colour coming from the brightly painted cupcakes and cakes.
What's on the menu? Pretty cupcakes, club sandwiches, slices of gin and lemon cake, chocolate log with white chocolate mousse and raspberry filling. But we'd trade all that for just one piece of the chocolate truffle slice it's so good.
Could you take your granny to it?You bet. She'd love the high tea voucher for two ($25) and the sound of quiet jazz.
Teabags or tea leaves? Teabags.
China? Finger-crooking, fine china cups.
Others worth sampling
Smith & Caughey's Bite, 253-261 Queen St, ph (09) 377 4770.
Because everyone should have afternoon tea at Smith & Caughey's at least once for the Devonshire Tea. It's an institution.
Savour & Devour, 478 Richmond Rd, Grey Lynn, ph (09) 361 2631. They've got delicious cakes and biscuits made in-house and the caramel slice's fat layer of caramel is extravagant.
Afternoon tea makes a welcome comeback
A selection of cakes, scones and club sandwiches available at the Stamford Hotel. Picture / Carolyn Robertson
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