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Home / Lifestyle

Afterdavided: When Kiwis' English fails them

NZ Herald
16 Aug, 2017 11:10 PM4 mins to read

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David Tua's 'o for awesome' answer on Wheel of Fortune. Footage from TVNZ

The release of a string of messages purportedly exchanged between All Black Aaron Smith and the woman he apparently had sex with in a disabled toilet last year has put the alleged tryst back in the spotlight.

Amid the exchanges, which reveal pleas to stick to a storyline to save face for the All Black, a "new" word, stands out from the rest: "Afterdavided". You would be forgiven for assuming the word's etymology is simply "After David did". It's not. The word the author was searching for was affidavit.

Instead, here's how afterdavided was used in a sentence: "OK are you will to do a sawn afterdavided [sic] to say we didn't have sex in there ..."

Afterdavided quickly found its way to hashtag status with tweets such as:

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But it's not the first time a Kiwi's trouble with the English language has caught the nation's attention. From sports stars to politicians, here are some of the most memorable moments when words have been, for better or worse, given an awkward tweak.

David Tua: O for awesome

In 1992, boxing champion David Tua took to the small screen to compete in a round of Celebrity Wheel of Fortune.

As the wheel came to a stop, Tua offered an "O", for Awesome". He's since attempted to clarify that he was misquoted and actually said: "O for Olsen". Doesn't quite have the same ring to it, does it?

Levi Hawken: Nek minnit

New Zealand skateboarder Levi Hawken found viral fame in 2011 with a YouTube video about his broken scooter.

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"Left my scooter outside the dairy. Nek minnit ..." says Hawken as the camera pans to his busted ride.

The phrase swiftly entered everyday Kiwi language, was parodied in advertising campaigns, songs and even featured on political billboards.

But a fracas erupted over the rights to the phrase after an Auckland company applied and was granted trademark rights, intending to use "Nek Minnit" in a campaign for a new soft drink.

John Key: Troties and texters

Former PM John Key obviously spoke in public a lot. So although the opportunity for error was high, to be fair, he did pretty well during his tenure.

Discover more

All Blacks

Smith sex scandal disrupts press conference

17 Aug 02:52 AM
Sport|rugby

Smith sex scandal: Woman claims she was offered money to lie

17 Aug 07:49 AM

However, two words stand out as memorable blunders:

In his speech at the 2011 Rugby World Cup, Key described the winning vessel as a "troty". Although it was a slip of the tongue rather than a misunderstanding of the correct word - as in the case of afterdavided vs. affidavit - "troty" captured Kiwis' attention and has been immortalised in a dub step remix, of course.

As forgiving as we can be of "troty", we're less inclined to let "texters" slide. Key repeatedly referred to "text messages" as "texters", an incorrect term not heard since you were sending messages on your Nokia 3310.

via GIPHY

Miss Auckland contestant: Unless we forget

As a beauty pageant contestant, your bread and butter is promoting world peace. So it's admirable that one's efforts start here at home.

But first things first, you'll want to be sure you get the phrasing right. Lest we forget the former Miss Auckland contestant who made an Anzac remembrance post - wearing a bikini and army hat - captioned: "Unless we forget".

Matty McLean: Maria and Metiria

Last week Breakfast weather presenter Matty McLean was happily fielding compliments on air for his dapper look when disaster struck.

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He told his colleague, newsreader Daniel Faitaua, "I went shopping with Metiria Turei," which, given it was the worst week of the former Green Party co-leader's political career, seemed like very generous use of her time.

McLean's mortification was evident when he realised he'd mixed up his shopping companions and meant to say Maria Tutaia.

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... oops @mattymcleannz 😂

A post shared by TVNZ Breakfast (@breakfaston1) on Aug 10, 2017 at 1:18pm PDT

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