A quick word with John Safran

John Safran

John Safran is the host of comedy-doco series John Safran vs God (Tuesdays, C4, 9.30pm) who you may remember from John Safran's Music Jamboree. This time, the Jewish Aussie test-drives a variety of religions in an attempt to enlighten us all.

Are you actually religious?

It's not as if I go to the synagogue. I passively eat bacon. I'm still going to hell.

If you could speak to God right now, what would you say?

"Listen, you used to do obvious miracles so we knew you existed and now you just do vague stuff. I mean, are we meant to take your word for it? Why don't you just do a friggin' really impressive miracle?"

What do you think the reply would be?

"Get stuffed."

What excites you about religion so much?

If you don't know something, you just make it up. Hindus are just unreal, they've just got insane explanations for everything. They'll be like, "Well, the reason the earth is floating there, John, is because there's a giant elephant underneath and four turtles on either side." It's a bit like my work - it's pretty much true but a little bit untrue.

What sort of feedback have you had for the show?

Religious people like it. The last episode was this exorcism so lots of Christians really liked it. In one episode a goat gets sacrificed in Haiti - some people thought it was too disturbing for TV. We also got negative feedback when I vomited in one episode.

Aren't you worried you'll offend someone?

Generally, if it's not funny, that's when you get into trouble. If I think I can't make something work I won't do it. Like, I don't know how to make paedophilia funny so I won't try.

How did Rove react when you had a fatwa [Islamic ruling] placed on him?

He thought it was funny, I think. Because we got this cleric in front of a room full of people screaming his name we thought we don't have to go hammer and tongs slagging off Rove. Rather than it being mean-spirited like, "[expletive] off, you sell-out", we made it a bit ridiculous, not really self-righteous, so I think we got off the hook there.

You must have found yourself in some scary situations during filming?

Definitely in Haiti when they started throwing rocks at our car. When I met with the Ku Klux Klan I didn't really think about it that hard. It was only later I realised I was really stupid.

We hear you're writing a film - what's it about?

It's like a self-absorbed, non-political version of Super Size Me but instead of trying to heal the world or do something positive it's just me trying to get closure with all my ex-girlfriends. I think that's an appropriate use of one-and-a-half hours of people's time.

How on earth do you meet women?

It's fine, although I have been out with people and their mothers have said "Be careful or he'll embarrass you on television".

Seeing as you're a music buff, what are your top five religious tracks?

Johnny Cash - When the Man Comes Around, 50 Shekel - (Jewish rapper) - Hooked on the Truth, Nas - The Cross, Daniel Johnson - Devil Town, Mozart on Crack - Hate Priest