A quick word with Badjelly the Witch

Most people have to work at the scary thing. When did you realise you had a gift?

When I was born. My piercing cries frightened to death anyone within earshot.

Who's the most pesky person you've come across? Surely Dinglemouse gets up your big honker?

He does indeed, with his stupid, screechy voice and his needy, cutesy-wootsy mousey act. Ugh. Puke.

Have you ever considered rhinoplasty?

You cannot improve upon perfection, my dear.

Have you been to Bare Bottom Land? What's it like?

Naked bottoms as far as the eye can see. Terribly smelly place. I like to go there on holidays. Mmm, the stench is intoxicating.

What sort of broom do you drive these days?

A new streamlined twig and knobbly branch combo. Very aerodynamic. Very quiet. Great for sneaking up on unsuspecting victims and for smacking Dulboot around the head.

What's your favourite recipe for children?

At the moment I'm into my Japanese. Teriyaki children's chicken legs. Nothing beats a nice, old-fashioned boy-girl boil-up though.

Do you ever get sick of being the wickedest witch in all the world

What a silly question. I will never be sick of it. I am the greatest, evilest, most hideous witch in all the world. I'm at the top of my game right now. Not even God herself could stop me. Ha.

Is there a loving and compassionate witchy-poo behind that evil cackle?

Ooh yuck, are you trying to make me ill? I am pure evil wickedness to the core.

* Madeleine Sami is Badjelly the Witch in the Spike Milligan classic, presented by the Silo Theatre at the Civic Winter Garden, October 8. Tickets from Ticketek.