50 Ways Of Saying Fabulous

Harriet Beattie as Lou.

Herald rating: * *

This gay coming-of-age story set in a beautiful Central Otago is the first feature outing for director Main since 1993's Desperate Remedies. It is the summer of 1975, and chubby 12-year-old Billy (Paterson) is best mates with his tomboy cousin Lou (Beattie), with whom he shares a fantasy life, in which their names are respectively Lana and Brad.

The deliciously butch Lou dreads the prospect of approaching womanhood, not least because it will interfere with her rugby-playing aspirations. Meanwhile, Billy endures being called a poofter - an insult his aunt tells him is applied to "people who prefer culture to cows".

Billy's journey of self-discovery is complicated by the arrival of the lonely and sex-obsessed schoolmate Roy (Collins), who teaches him how to masturbate, and the hunky, heterosexual farmhand Jamie (Dorman), on whom Billy develops a crush.

The film, based on Graeme Aitken's novel, takes its name from a line in which a character says that, among the many things that irritate him about homosexuals is that "you have 50 ways of saying fabulous". If that line sounds funny coming from a 70s South Island rural pre-teen jock, it's only one of many jarring incongruities in the film.

Peter Scholes' busy, bouncy string soundtrack, and the director's cheesy fantasy inserts lend an oddly jolly tone to what is a poignant, even disturbing tale. The film's material is adult, its style kidult. But those landscapes are to die for.

Verdict: The ravishing landscapes of Central Otago are not enough to save this wooden and ill-conceived memoir of childhood, although there are some good teenage performances.

Cast: Andrew Paterson, Harriet Beattie, Georgia McNeil, Jay Collins, Michael Dorman
Director: Stewart Main
Running time: 90 minutes
Rating: M, contains violence and offensive language
Screening: Academy