Paraparaumu Beach's Andrew McGregor, who has worked locally as a mental health supporter for the past eight years, is one of a variety of local men to have battled the weight of the elephant.
At 22 and suffering depression, accompanied by drug use, Mr McGregor suffered a manic episode and was hospitalised under the Mental Health Act. He stayed in a psychiatric ward for 11 weeks.
In the years to follow, the 33-year-old battled with fluctuating mental health before falling into severe depression and suicidal ideation, which at one point saw him sit at his family's dining room table imagining how he could end his life.
Suicidal ideation, an occurrence of thoughts about ending one's life, is recognised by professionals as ranging from a detailed plan to a fleeting consideration, which does not lead to the final act.
"It's what becomes rational in an irrational mind," Mr McGregor said.
"I remember thinking how my partner would get our young child to daycare in the morning if I took the car.
"I wasn't able to see things from the perspective that if I did it, maybe my family's entire life would be turned around and upside down."
In a moment that sparked what is now a full recovery, he told family he needed help.
"I believe most people who suffer from depression will at some point have suicidal ideation.
"And it should be identified as a big alarm bell."
Mr Sloman, whose Whirlwind charity focuses on men having each other's backs, said sadly, the 75 per cent statistic was not new and was linked to New Zealand's 'harden up' culture.
"We have a male culture of not talking about problems, especially the emotional ones, for fear of not being seen as 'manly'.
"It leaves men feeling isolated and ill-equipped to deal with the natural ups and downs of life.
"As a society we worsen this by not talking about suicides.
"Suicide, especially in men, is considered the ultimate form of avoidance and, how ironic then, that our society avoids talking openly it."
Mr Sloman said society had the tendency to hide behind avoidant coping strategies such as drink, drugs, food, violence or changing partners.
"This instant gratification and throwaway process doesn't benefit long-term mental wellbeing.
"When the instant thing doesn't work we're left without solutions.
"There's no silver bullet to alleviating mental distress or emotional turmoil."
Whirlwind, which shares stories from men including ex-All Black John Kirwan, aims to breakdown the stigma and get men talking, as well as to express themselves through creative outlets such as music.
"In Whirlwind we have one rule, leave the bullshit at the door.
"We meet, play sport, eat, converse, play music, laugh with and support each other and, when a man needs practical support, we help with that too.
"Time and again our men have commented that hearing another man's story has helped to take the edge off their own."
Mr Sloman, a registered counsellor, said suicide prevention was the responsibility of not only the mental health sector, but communities as a whole.
"Local council could seek to partner up with non-government organisations like Whirlwind and Te Ara Korowai (Raumati Beach), asking how it can help them to support this community.
"Mental wellbeing is a wide issue and the responsibility for its success lies across all sectors.
"I've seen far more local suicide cases lately than I'll ever feel comfortable with and they all break your heart."
According to Capital and Coast District Health Board, suicide often stemmed from a series of factors triggered by a life stress or crisis, often centred on the breakdown of an emotional or supportive relationship.
Members of the community were encouraged to keep an eye out for changed behaviour in a person, including becoming withdrawn, more stressed, angry or worried than usual, displaying different spending, eating or sleeping habits, or talking about suicide.
Mr McGregor, whose mental wellness was now at its peak, acknowledged the importance of support networks for men, whether it was at the building site or in the doctor's office.
"Men think they're not going to be heard, or they don't want to bother people.
"While it takes a lot to open up and speak to someone, it takes just as much courage to listen and not judge.
"That's a huge step in the right direction."
¦For more help phone:
Lifeline: 0800 543 354
Suicide Crisis Helpline: 0508 828 865
Youthline: 0800 376 633
Depression helpline: 0800 111 757
Or, to to get in touch with Whirlwind, email admin@whirlwindstories.com or visit Whirlwind online.
