KEY POINTS:
I have never watched Police Ten 7, and I suspect Rick Ellis hasn't either. Actually, I suspect nobody watches it except, possibly, those who appear on it, their mates and rellies and immediate family.
I take it that Police Ten 7 is another one of these instant celebrity-making programmes in which those appearing are famous in a few living rooms for a few minutes for doing odd things. The folk at home can ring in and vote for their favourite by dobbing them in on the 0800 hotline, which apparently really does ring hot.
I would add it to my list of charter-appropriate programmes but I'm quite worn out from attempting to achieve my weekly quota.
There was Pop's Ultimate Star. I can't be sure just how many Maori were on that because I had to switch over to Native Affairs after an hour to keep my quota up.
Rick Ellis wasn't on. He was booked to go on to discuss this charter-obligation matter but an hour before he was supposed to turn up, he said he wasn't going to. There was some muttering about this.
The minister for such things, Steve Maharey, wasn't available either so we had a panel discussion between Sharples; Derek Fox; Hone Edwards, a joker who used to be the kaihautu (guardian) at TVNZ before he was given the chop - about which he didn't seem at all bitter - and the show's host, Julian Wilcox.
Good name, that: Native Affairs. Although it could be regarded as a bit, well, retro, couldn't it? Or maybe just a bit funny. It's not a funny show, though, except, just once during the panel discussion. I'm not sure that Rick Ellis actually said Dancing with the Stars was one of those shows which fulfils the state broadcaster's obligations to Maori but Sharples seemed to think he had. To list Dancing with the Stars and those other dog.. animal programmes I didn't know, DWTS had little kuri doing the tango, but perhaps it should. Or those prancing circus ponies.
Oh, was he calling the show a dog? Don't know. Anyway the panel discussion was okay as far as panel discussions go but would undoubtedly have been much livelier had Mr Ellis turned up. Although that would have meant one fewer Maori on the telly, so perhaps he was just proving he's serious about his charter obligations.
Native Affairs is, of course, on Maori TV, so it has no problems in that respect. It is a perfectly adequate current affairs show, although a bit worthy despite that cheeky name. And I couldn't figure out why they ran a long story about an American soldier who went awol from the Army so he wouldn't have to go to Iraq.
Good ads though. If you ordered Learn How To Hip Hop, for only $39.95 plus p & p, you got Learn How to Breakdance absolutely free.
This was tempting. You never know when there will be a Hip Hop's Ultimate Star to audition for. Oh. No, that was that other show, NZ Idol, that had all the audition footage of the mad, the delusional and the untalented. PUS (unfortunate, that) has people who have already been on these new-fangled talent shows and have a chance to have another go.
It also has judges who have been around for a bit, which is a good thing because they should know what they're talking about. It is a marvel of recycling - two of the judges are also the stylist and the musical director.
The mad, lovely Jordan Luck has only one task, the judging, to do - unless he's also the hair stylist and we haven't been told. This seems possible because he obviously didn't have time to do his own locks. Luck is promising. He's nice; all the judges are. Could we just announce he's the winner and get all of this charter obligation stuff out of the way?
