KEY POINTS:
A few years ago, on a live-in holiday programme for children whose parents had been involved in domestic violence, a 5-year-old boy woke up early and ran into Hera Clarke's office.
"I had a really good sleep last night," he said.
"That's good," said Mrs Clarke. "You're really excited to be on this programme and you've had a good night's sleep."
He said: "It's because I woke up this morning and my pants are still on and nobody touched me all night."
Mrs Clarke, the director of Te Whare Ruruhau O Meri, a social service of the Maori division of the Anglican Church in Otahuhu, is one of hundreds of Maori leaders who have stepped forward to tackle the kind of abuse suffered by that boy and by Rotorua 3-year-old Nia Glassie, who was hung from a washing line and spun in a tumble dryer last month.
In Northland, seven tribes have banded together to support a violence prevention initiative called Amokura, which has sponsored local campaigns such as "Hugs not Thugs" in Kaitaia and is supporting a drop-in clinic for parents in Kaikohe next week.
"If you drive into Kaikohe now, you will see a sign on the way into and out of town saying, 'It takes a whole community to keep whanau safe,"' says Amokura manager Di Grennell.
In the Waikato, the Hamilton Abuse Intervention Project runs groups for Maori, non-Maori and Asian men and women to deal with relationship problems and has run programmes for young men in high schools.
In Otahuhu, Te Whare Ruruhau O Meri (Mary's House of Care and Compassion) also runs separate programmes for abused women, abusing men, affected children and then for the whole whanau together. Altogether it works with 400 to 700 men, women and children in a year.
"A lot of child abuse issues stem from relationship problems," Mrs Clarke says.
"When they are struggling in a relationship, often this anger is directed at those in the home who hold less power, who include partners and children."
She says Te Whare Ruruhau has a philosophy of working with the whole family because 80 per cent of the women return to their abusive relationships.
"If that is the decision, what we offer here is a family reconciliation process where there is no simple 'Let's get back together' and that's it."
Alternatively, if the woman - and it's usually the woman - chooses not to go back into the relationship after a violent incident, the service helps both partners and the children to deal with the issue separately and then to negotiate matters such as care of the children.
The whare works closely with police, who refer repeat offenders, and with the Auckland Central family safety team.
Their live-in holiday programme called Rangatahi JAM (which stands for "Jesus And Me") aims to give new skills and confidence to about 40 children each time who have been affected by their parents' violence and who may have been abused themselves.
* Numbers
Te Whare Ruruhau O Meri, 09 270 2631
Amokura, 09 459 6913
Hamilton Abuse Intervention Project, 07 834 3148.
