Dementia: The Brains Trust, Episode 4 - Rita Marx and the Māori way

Sometimes Rita Marx forgets her own name, let alone the names of her six children, 22 grandchildren, 33 great-grandchildren and two great-great-grandchildren.

But as soon as the 87-year-old kuia steps onto her marae, she is the little girl from Ōpape, tired of living in the Pākehā world and looking to live the simple life -
milking cows, growing potatoes, and fishing off the rocks.

As her memory faded, Rita moved in with her daughter, Verna Falwasser, who cared fulltime for her mother for a year at their Whakatāne home.

Rita Marx, who suffers from Alzheimer's. Photo / Mike Scott

"I didn't know what dementia was," Rita says.

"I was forgetting things like taking my pills so something was happening. I kept forgetting where I was supposed to be going or meant to be doing. I'd say to my daughter, 'I am not mental'."

Verna, a manager on a berry farm, says she was in denial about her mother's dementia.

"I think everyone could see it except me.

Rita Marx, who suffers from Alzheimer's, currently lives in Whakatāne but wants to return to her childhood home at Ōpape. She is pictured visiting the Ōpape Marae. Photo / Mike Scott

"My mum was a hard worker. All these years she has been the strong one and she's spent all this time looking after others. Now it's time for us to step up and give back. We look after our own. "

Doctor Makarena Dudley, at Brain Research New Zealand, says dementia is becoming more prevalent among Māori.

"Māori are more at risk with conditions that may lead to dementia such as diabetes, cardiovascular disease, brain injury and obesity.

Rita Marx, centre, with daughter Verna Falwasser, left, and granddaughter Baylee McCauley, who is holding great-great-grandson Lykin-J Rangi. Photo / Mike Scott

"Our kaumatua who are inflicted by dementia do not lose face or value within the community. Māori don't see dementia as a burden. We embrace it and accommodate it. Their value isn't diminished, Dudley said.

Verna says her mother's culture keeps her connected to the world she grew up in.

"As her dementia advances, she wants to back to Ōpape because that's where she was born and raised. I won't be surprised if she stops speaking English one day and will korero in Māori, so I'd better learn fast!"

An historic picture of Rita Marx, who suffers from Alzheimer's. Photo / Supplied

Dementia: The Brains Trust - The full series

Supported by NZ On Air

Episode 1 - Deborah and Anne Pead: 'She's my mum and I love her - but mentally there's nothing there'

Episode 2 - Warwick and Pummy Hickling: 'In sickness and in health' - the love story of Warwick and Pummy

Episode 3 - Care villages offer new approach: Can't see, can't hear, no balance - Mike Scott learns what dementia feels like

Episode 4 - Rita Marx and the Māori way: 'I think everyone could see my mum had dementia except me'

Episode 5 - Mike, Bob and Christine Scott: 'My daughter's name is Christine'

Episode 6 - Mike Scott's MRI scan: 'This MRI scan could tell me if I'll get dementia. Do I want to find out?'

Where to get help

If this content has raised any concerns for you, please see your GP or contact:

Dementia New Zealand
0800 433 636
Email: support@dementia.nz

Alzheimers New Zealand
0800 004 001
Email: admin@alzheimers.org.nz

• If it is a medical issue and you need advice, call Healthline on 0800 611 116.

• Call 111 in the event of an emergency.