Natalia Kills and Benny Tipene at the X Factor retreat.
Natalia Kills and Benny Tipene at the X Factor retreat.
It might be a reality show but The X Factor NZ doesn't exactly throw away the script, finds Lydia Jenkin as she goes behind the scenes with Natalia Kills - and 2013 runner-up Benny Tipene.
On this sunny Monday afternoon, about 50 people are buzzing around the palatial west Auckland property where The X Factor is holding one of its four retreats.
There are caterers, hair and makeup artists, lighting and camera guys, set dressers, a full TV production crew - and various others doing things like trying to make the cicadas less noisy.
It's quite impressive. The clifftop mansion is right on the edge of world at Laingholm on the west coast. There are cameras and lights all over the place - in the living room, by the pool, upstairs in one of the guest wings.
The oddest thing about this "retreat" though, is that no one is actually staying here - the young guys who have made it this far, and are now in Natalia Kills' team, are actually still staying at the SkyCity Hotel in town, and Kills and guest mentor Benny Tipene are also simply coming out to the house to film their segments.
So there's not that much interaction between contestants and judges at this point, if any - no pool parties for these guys, which seems a shame because the pool looks great.
But that's the magic of television. And there really is quite some television magic involved in The X Factor, because while the show you see on screen may be a slick, fast-cut piece of entertainment, the actual reality can be extremely boring.
As with most everything in film and TV, the actual filming part of it is tedious. It takes a very long time to set everything up, so much so that even the most sizzling moments on screen are pretty banal in the studio or on set.
Even before the first singer comes in, there's already been much to-ing and fro-ing about which chair Kills should sit in, and whether it makes her look too small next to Tipene (she is uber-petite, and he's quite tall).
Eventually contestant Nofo Lameko comes down to sing.
But before he even steps up to the microphone, a producer has some instructions.
"Okay, so Natalia, you're going to say 'Hi', and Benny, you're going to say 'How are you?', and then Natalia, you'll ask him what he's going to sing today, and then you're going to tell him to do his best, or something like that. Keep it friendly but not too friendly."
Everyone dutifully follows orders. There's some discussion about the pronunciation of Lameko's name. And the best lighting. And then he performs, accompanying himself on the guitar. He sounds lovely, but no one seems all that concerned about how he sounds, because next there are more instructions:
"Okay, so you're not going to give him any feedback yet Natalia, just say thank you very much, then you can say thank you as well Benny, and then Nofo, unplug your guitar, and then head back upstairs."
But Lameko isn't heading back upstairs yet - first they're going to do it all again.
They'll try alternate greetings at the behest of the producer, there's another performance, more thank yous.
And then they do it again, trying different camera angles.
"Sorry Nofo, that was great but we didn't have the guitar sound coming through that time, let's just do it one more time."
None of this is unusual for reality television of course. You need a million takes from a million different camera angles if you're going to massage a story out of it all.
It must be hard for the judges to sit through so many hours of repetitive nonsense and keep the performances in perspective, to actually decide who they think is best.
And it must be hard as a contestant to keep up your energy and excitement for hours while you're waiting, to keep your intensity and focus through several performances, all the while taking instructions about when to unplug your guitar, when to take it off, what to say, where to put your feet.
Still, if you're going to be an X Factor star, then it goes with the territory.
Kills is definitely out to find someone who can shine through these challenges. As she puts it "the fact of the matter is that the music industry is a cold and brutal world, and this has to be a lifestyle, you can't just fit it in among the rest of your life. It has to be everything you want to do in order for you to put up with the no sleep, the hard touring, the criticism, the rigorous rehearsals."
That doesn't mean you already have to be an absolute pro though. For Kills, perfection isn't necessarily what she's looking for.
"For me, if something is so perfect that it's squeaky clean, it can lack charisma. I'm not looking for a backing vocalist who stands perfectly and sings every note as it's dictated to them, I want something memorable."
Tipene, who came third in the last X Factor competition, but has been the most successful and visible contestant since, is the guest mentor joining Kills on the boys retreat.
He's finding it a little odd to be on the opposite side of the competition this time.
"It's interesting because the whole idea of judging music is a bit bizarre to me. It was bizarre on the show, and it's still slightly bizarre now, but the whole TV industry is bizarre, too."
Natalia Kills and Benny Tipene at the X Factor retreat.
He's all too aware of how the music and performances can seem a little lost during filming.
He didn't see much of the season he appeared on because he was too busy being on it. The tweaks to the new season's format, he likes so far.
"The show does feel a little different this time, the bits that I've seen. I mean, I never really watched it when I was on it. But what I've seen of this so far feels kind of different, and I don't know if that's because I'm not involved as much, but it feels like there are less sob stories, which is kind of nice."
The pair seem to have a good rapport despite having only met a few times - Kills was impressed with Tipene's story, and having met him at the NZ Music Awards last year, asked producers if she might be able to work with him on the show. "I found Benny's story a lot more inspiring than the winner's story. Who was the winner again? Jackie.
"Right, she seemed like a very sweet thing, really nice girl, but I felt very compelled towards Benny. He won in my eyes. He made it so that he won. He works hard, harnesses opportunities, he already knew who he was as an artist. That's inspiring to me."
It seems Kills is going to do her level best to make sure The X Factor is something more than just a game show with one winner at the end - she's keen to introduce New Zealand to some real talent.
"I'm definitely looking to bring something new, something a bit unusual. And if that may be a less safe choice, or may be alienating for some people, that's fine. I think it's more important to really love your own music and believe in what you're doing, than to pull on the heart strings of the public - because you can't dangle on those strings for very long."
After nearly three hours on set, TimeOut decides it's time to beat a retreat from this retreat. Having witnessed endless carting of cameras and lights, watched set assistants trying to spray those noisy cicadas with a hose, and, finally, glimpsed Lameko's performance four times over, we've had quite enough reality.
