Widowed comedian Patton Oswalt's heartbreaking plea: 'I can't do this'

news.com.au

6 Dec, 2016 02:30 AM2 mins to read

Actor Patton Oswalt and his late wife Michelle McNamara. Photo / Getty

Comedian Patton Oswalt has penned a heartbreaking essay reflecting on life since his beloved wife's shock death in April this year.

The 47-year-old stand-up and star of films including Young Adult and Ratatouille was left a single father when his wife, true crime writer Michelle McNamara, died in her sleep earlier this year.

Actor Patton Oswalt and daughter Alice Rigney Oswalt. Photo / Getty

The couple had one daughter together, born in 2009. In an essay penned for GQ magazine, Oswalt reflects on his new, unexpected role as a single father, admitting it's been an incredibly tough transition.

"I was half of an amazing parenting team, except we weren't equals," Oswalt writes, saying that fathering his daughter Alice alone feels like "a walk-on character is being asked to carry an epic film after the star has been wiped from the screen".

Actor Patton Oswalt and late wife Michelle McNamara. Photo / Getty

"I can't do it. I can't do it. I can't do it. I want to tune out the world and hide under the covers and never leave my house again and send our daughter, Alice, off to live with her cousins in Chicago, because they won't screw her up the way I know I will. Somebody help me! I can't. I can't. I can't," he writes.

Despite these feelings, Oswalt vows that he will "keep going forward" - but mourns the loss of a life he'd planned with his late wife.

"I was looking forward to spending my life with the single most original mind I'd ever encountered. And now? Gone. All gone."

Actor/comedian Patton Oswalt and his daughter Alice Oswalt visit LEGOLAND on February 6, 2016. Photo / Getty

In August, the comedian broke his silence about his grief, marking 102 days since his wife's death in an emotional Facebook post addressed to himself and offering a remarkably raw take on the grieving process.

"You will not be physically healthier," continued the actor and comic, also known for roles in TV shows United States of Tara and Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. "You will not feel 'wiser.' You will not have 'closure.'

You will not have 'perspective' or 'resilience' or 'a new sense of self.' You WILL have solid knowledge of fear, exhaustion and a new appreciation for the randomness and horror of the universe. And you'll also realise that 102 days is nothing but a warm-up for things to come."