Megan Fox, sucks to be you.
The Transformers siren has a few things she'd like to share with you all: She hates being called beautiful or talented, she doesn't do germs, public toilets or restaurant cutlery; and she would rather starve to death than cook for herself.
Fox, 24, flips the lid on her personal life between the covers of the new issue of Allure magazine. And it makes for a rather interesting, if not perplexing, read.
The star also reveals she suffers from Obsessive Compulsive Disorder, and would like to do "physical harm" to the paparazzo who shot naked pics of her last year.
"If I knew who took this picture, I would personally cause them harm - physical harm," she says of the snaps taken of her in the nuddie on the set of indie flick Passion Play.
She stars alongside Mickey Rourke as a circus sideshow performer in the movie.
"I'm not a f***** reality-TV star that's courting the paparazzi and wants my f***** picture taken all the time," she tells Allure.
"I'm at my job and I'm trying to play a character and I'm trying to be serious, and this is the s*** that's happening to me," she reveals.
"It makes me furious."
Fair enough.
The bombshell, renowned for speaking her mind and making oddball comments, then addresses her obsessive-compulsive tendencies. She reveals that what started as a mild concern has developed into full-blown OCD.
"This is a sickness, I have an illness," she says, adding that she has a particular aversion for public toilets.
"Every time someone uses a bathroom and they flush, all the bacteria is shot into the air."
Eugh! Great, now that's all we can think of when it comes to potty time.
Same goes for Fox when it comes to using knives and forks in restaurants.
"Putting my mouth where a million other mouths have been, just knowing all the bacteria that you carry in your mouth? Ucch!" she says.
Ha, wonder what she'd make of this little gem about airlines re-using cutlery up to 10 times!
"People can't imagine what the struggle is really like, when you can't let go of a thought or a word," Fox adds.
"All day and every day. And I can engage in a conversation with someone and seem like I'm present, and the whole time I'm in my own head, thinking about something else, worrying about something else."
She also sheds light on some of her previous interviews, saying her stabs at sexual innuendo and satire backfired.
"I was really open when I first started, trying to be light-hearted and have a sense of humour and engage in some sort of satire sometimes," she says.
"It did backfire to a certain extent... I still have the same sense of humour, but no desire to express it, really, any more, because I've always been f***** for doing so."
She also admits she can sometimes come across as a little nutty.
She's not wrong. Take the next statement for example.
"I'll starve to death before I'll cook for myself," she said, adding, "I think I could survive a week without eating."
Way to go sending out a positive message, Fox.
But it's not only food she can survive out. She doesn't do people either.
"I could go days, weeks, without talking to another human being," she says.
"I hate receiving compliments; I hate being told I'm talented or people think I'm going to be a movie star. I always feel that it's forced and fake."
Someone called her talented?
Perhaps she is, but not in the acting department. Sorry love.
And besides, call us cynical but the 'poor little movie star' routine is starting to wear a little thin.
Sure, she obviously has issues, and OCD is not a giggling matter, but jeez, cheer up love. It might never happen!
You can some snaps from her Allure interview here.
Lohan v the volcano
So wild child Lindsay Lohan has skipped off to Cannes to promote her new indie flick Inferno (the one where she'll star as late porn actress Linda Lovelace. Bet she's clearing her mantelpiece for the slew of awards she'll win for that one).
And by the look of things, we'd say LiLo's having a whale of a time over there. Yes, she's eating pavement again.
But toppling on the tarmac is the least of her worries. The troubled starlet has a looming court date in Los Angeles this week, to address her no-show at alcohol ed classes (she's so far only attended 10 of the 13 she's required to).
Trouble is LiLo reportedly can't secure a flight back to her home turf - because that naughty Icelandic volcano keeps spouting its ash.
Worst-case scenario: She misses her court date on Thursday and a warrant is issued for her arrest. Oh, the drama!
Mariah Carey turns firewoman
When she's not warbling on stage and jumping on the loved-up wagon with hubby Nick Cannon, our Mariah Carey's a bit of a flame tamer.
There she was about to perform in Egypt on Monday when she spotted a set of flames licking at her toes from beneath the stage.
But rather than yelp 'fire!' and run for the nearest exit, our Carey took matters into her own hands.
"In Egypt getting ready to go on stage and suddenly there was a surge of power and an electrical fire started under my feet! Wtf?!," she tweeted.
"Naturally, my emergency instincts kicked in and I put out the flames w/a towel. Lol (yet true)" she wrote.
Clever girl. And it's not the first time she's tamed the flames. She zapped a fire in her love shack she shares with Cannon last year.
She said at the time: "He (Nick) had given me an enormous amount of roses, so I picked up the vase and poured out the roses, and went back and forth from the bathroom putting out the flames with water... I'm good in a crisis."
Quote of the day
"Life and love is like the ocean. Sometimes the tide is in and sometimes the tide is out, and sometimes it's like the frigging Mojave.
"Where's the tide now? For me? Mojave! Fortunately, I like the desert. I'm a desert flower."
- Sharon Stone laments her man-drought in US magazine More.
No hate
Christina Aguilera has got the hump because people keep comparing her to Lady Gaga and manufacturing a feud between her and the songbird.
To be fair, Aguilera made some comments abut Gaga in a recent interview which did very little to dispel the feud talk.
In the interview she called Gaga a "newcomer", adding that she thought the Bad Romance star was "fun to look at".
Well now Aguilera's crying foul and saying her quotes were taken out of context.
She fumes on her official website:
"Dear Fans,
"I would like to take a moment to clarify something that has been brought to my attention this morning. It is very easy for comments to be taken out of context and create unnecessary drama-especially between us women. So I would like to tell you all directly so my words can not be misconstrued to sell someone else's story... I have absolutely nothing against Lady Gaga or any other female artist in this business. I think she is great, and I appreciate any woman fearless enough to go against the norm. She has earned her success with hard work and a clear focus and I have nothing but respect for that.
"There is room for all of us on everyone's iPods.
"This is not the first time I have been unfairly pitted against another female artist but it will be the last time I comment on the matter.
"Can't hold us down...
"With love,
"C/X"
And finally...
You HAVE to watch this. It's the video everyone's talking about.
American Pie star Chris Klein's lost audition tape. The one where he sings a hideously off-key rendition of Lay All Your Love On Me during an audition for Mamma Mia!
It's one of the most toe-curlingly awful auditions ever. Poor bloke.
Funnily enough, he wasn't cast as Amanda Seyfried's fiancé in the ABBA-scored musical...
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