Underworld
film was largely shot in New Zealand. So as it descends into a low-bloodsugar slump, there is still fun to be had examining the faces and accents of the vampire and werewolf extras. Ever wondered
what
Shortland Street Transylvania
would look like? Here's your film.
But it wasn't made here for the scenery - this prequel about why werewolves and vampires have been at each other's throats is seemingly set in the Very Very Dark Ages.
Without his brighly coloured contact lenses it would be hard to spot Bill Nighy's vampire Viktor and his varicose veins. Ditto for fellow slumming-it Brit Michael Sheen. He can be spotted mainly via the permanent, er, sheen of sweat on his buff torso.
He's Lucian, the wolfman, who has tired of being Viktor's guard dog and keeping secret his love affair with Viktor's daughter Sonya (Mitra). He rises up, becoming a sort of spaniel-Spartacus, leading the other enslaved wolfguys out of Viktor's mountaintop lair there, so they can, um, eventually come back and scratch at the door really loudly.
The director of the first two
Underworlds
, Len Wiseman, and star Kate Beckinsale bowed out of this - well they did get married after Beckinsale split with Sheen, who has since showed a different kind of bite as David Frost in
Frost/ Nixon
.
This one was helmed by special effects monster-maker Tatopoulos; it starts off at an entertaining clip but soon gets bogged down in seemingly looped scenes of armoured guards clanking through the castle corridors while Viktor glowers and Lucian gets strung up for yet another whipping.
That very Mel Gibsonesque flailing isn't the only attempted homage. Watch for a) the
Alien
tribute shot b) the Aragorn tribute shot c) the
King Kong
climb and d) the battle scene showing what might have happened if
Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe
had been shot in the dark.
There are a few inventive action scenes - giant stonewall-piercing crossbows! Cool! - but it's often just too dark and incoherent to tell who's decapitating who. It has its moments, mostly care of the trans-species chemistry between Lucian and Sonya, but this
Underworld
underwhelms
Russell Baillie
Cast:
Bill Nighy, Michael Sheen, Rhona Mitra
Director:
Patrick Tatopoulos
Rating:
R16 graphic violence)
Running time:
93 mins
