This has always been my dream holiday: a long train journey during which I sit alone, talking to no one, simply watching out the window as the world passes me by. For several reasons (surprisingly expensive, what if it's actually bad and I hate it?) I haven't quite got around to it yet, and maybe now I don't have to. Thanks to the eternal generosity of television, there's now a way to get an approximate experience for free while slumped on my couch.
I'm talking about Go South, the three-hour special that screened on Prime last weekend, and is now available (along with the 12-hour Director's Cut) on their website. The premise was alluring, unusual: a scenic journey from Auckland to Milford Sound via road, sea and rail, all without a word of narration or a bar of music. Slow TV, New Zealand-style.
The niche genre originated in Norway, where classics like National Firewood Night and the seven-hour Train Ride Bergen to Oslo proved inexplicably successful (these titles, and more, can be found on Netflix). It's designed to be calming and contemplative, to relax and to soothe – in other words, to be the complete opposite to most other television.
As I began the voyage, I felt anything but calm; the main thing I found myself contemplating was how bad it is that New Zealand's prestige rail journey has to embark from that decrepit station out the back of Parnell with weeds growing on the platform. Other things that annoyed me: the train itself (not as long as I'd hoped), the on-screen graphics (bit difficult to read).