TV Eye: Army drama self-destructs

James Nesbitt raises his caterpillar eyebrows once again. Photo / Supplied

Some British reviewers raved so much about the Iraq war series Occupation when it screened there last year that hopes were high when it screened as a two-parter on TV One on Sunday and Monday. At last! A great British drama on TV One! Just like the good old days! Alas. It blew apart under the weight of an incoherent narrative, an implausible love story and James Nesbitt's caterpillar eyebrows.

It started out inside an armed people carrier, or whatever they call them in the army, with a group of British soldiers, including Nesbitt, about to enter a building in Basra from which a sniper was blasting. The men made their way towards the apartments, hindered by clamouring women, children and goats. Outside the door of the apartment, a sweet little girl looked appealingly at Nesbitt. His focus drifted for a few seconds. Then they all got blown up.

One soldier lost his leg; Nesbitt's character Mike lost his heart (and his head) to the girl. He carried her heroically to the hospital where a female doctor, Aliyah, told him they would not be able to operate as they had no equipment - then she asked him for cigarettes, saying they would increase her life expectancy. Their eyes met. My heart sank.

Sure enough, two months later they - Mike, Aliyah and the girl - were in England so the child could be fixed in hospital. Meanwhile, Mike and his comrades were bored stiff back home in suburbia and married Mike was falling in love with the doctor - also married and Muslim. That's a no-go zone.

Anyway, on it ploughed. One of Mike's former army mates, Danny, decided to become a "risk management operative" back in Iraq - in other words, a mercenary - and the peculiar pairing of short, stocky Danny and a gigantic black American ex-soldier ensued. More mates joined and Mike's marriage wobbled. He returned to Iraq, although his motives were more romantic than valorous. The way this relationship played out over the two nights felt like a narrative fraud, offensive even, and it was little wonder the doctor's Muslim colleagues took against her in the worst way possible.

Eventually we came to the year 2007. The war dragged on. Young mercenary Hibbs was kidnapped by police and nearly beheaded, in a gripping, horrendous scene. Danny started drinking heavily and forging signatures on contracts. Mike's son joined the army and ended up tearful and terrified in Iraq, with his now-divorced father.

By the end, after hours of viewing, I was frustrated - not occupied - by the squandered, cliched storyline. Danny had become corrupt; the doctor, after sullying herself with Mike, was executed; Mike's son, due to a cock-up on Danny's part, was dead. At the funeral, Mike's chin wobbled like blancmange and Danny told him the war was all about money: "At least I know what I'm risking my life for."

The last scene was of the three mates - Mike, Danny and Hibbs - sitting with post-funeral drinks as an anti-war song played into the credits. Grrr. We get the point. War is bad, people die, someone always makes money. But why do we have to suffer such a chaotic script and Nesbitt's lockjaw school of acting?