A scene from the latest episode of Game of Thrones.
A scene from the latest episode of Game of Thrones.
Five Game of Thrones fanatics - Russell Baillie, Karl Puschmann, Cameron McMillan, Chris Schulz and Robert Smith - share their thoughts on season five's sixth episode, Unbowed, Unbent, Unbroken. (Warning: Spoilers)
A nasty, exploitative moment
Occasionally, it seems, the writers of Game of Thrones get a memo: "Time to re-establish reputation for sex and violence. And sexual violence. Make it so."
So it was with season five's episode six which ended with the wedding night rape of Sansa Stark by Ramsay Bolton. Ramsay forced Reek/Theon to watch, with the camera spending most of the scene focused on his pained face.
Maybe being a forced witness to yet another of his master's acts of depravity will help him snap out of being Ramsay's mental hostage. But really? Hasn't Sansa suffered enough? She was already going through an arranged marriage with a man she despised for some sort of long-term greater good.
Did her character require even more trauma? And wasn't making the scene less about her and effectively more about a cowed man, in its own way, a bit of a cop out? Don't we already know Ramsay is evil and is probably getting what is coming to him, one day?
Was it to test the defiance of Sansa, who earlier told servant girl Miranda - a regular in Ramsay's bed chamber - she wasn't afraid as Winterfell was her home? Pride before a fall and all that? That seems to happen a lot in Game of Thrones.
But here, it just seemed a nasty exploitative moment that did nothing for the story or the characters involved and was more designed to push our buttons - a bit like the Jaime-Cersei funeral pyre scene from the previous season.
A scene from the latest episode of Game of Thrones.
Button job successfully done, I suppose. The final scene certainly overshadowed any of the episode's other developments.
That included Cersei getting her in-laws arrested by the Faith Militant; Jaime and Bronn getting arrested in Dorne after a brief but dull skirmish with those Sand Snakes; Tyrion and Jorah getting grabbed by slave traders - black guys (yet more faux medieval irony).
Oh and Arya going to the inner sanctum of that temple where they seem to be keeping a library of faces. Hey look, eleventh shelf up, four along ... is that you Kevin?
There actually was a Kevin mentioned somewhere. But that someone called "Kevin" could exist in this world isn't likely to be a big topic of discussion about this particular episode.
- Russell Baillie (latter day convert to the show, hasn't read the books)
You wouldn't wish death upon your worst enemies so instead let's wish it upon some of our friends. I say this not because I'm suffering from the crazed bloodlust like a feral Bolton. No. There's been plenty of lobbed heads, stabbed backs and slit throats this season.
Thing is, all the fatalities have involved people who just aren't important. They may have some minor importance in moving the story along, or have some personal importance to a character, or play an important part in some ridiculously intricate scheme that's playing out. But they're just not important to me, the viewer.
"Oh look, some old bloke just copped it". "Hmmm, that pirate guy just got a spear in his face." "Jon Snow did chop that fella's head off after all, go figure."
All these deaths from the last few episodes belong to characters I can't even be bothered googling the names of. They weren't really important. I wasn't invested in any of them. I did not mourn their passing.
A scene from the latest episode of Game of Thrones.
This season the Seven Kingdoms has proved itself far too safe. Not for the minor players, they're still dropping like flies. Or for Sansa who the writers seem to take sadistic pleasure in torturing.
But for all our other heroes, all our stars, then no worries, mate. The worst that's gonna happen is you're gonna be roughed up a little. You might get a nasty bruise or a minor flesh wound. A stubbed toe perhaps. Something like that. But you can rest easy knowing your head is going to stay firmly attached to your neck.
Last night's episode really rammed this home. There were multiple occasions to show how dangerous the Seven Kingdoms is. To demonstrate how swiftly and senselessly death can strike. To prove how perilousness the place can be. But nup.
Jaime and Bronn did not get their asses whipped by the fearsome female Sand Snakes. Instead they got rescued by capture at the last minute. Tyrion and Mormont did not get executed by the slavers. Instead, they talked their way into becoming slave fighters. An episode ago Grey Worm took a stabbing through the gut and survived.
Each and every time it's looked like our heroes have been goners. I've sat there wailing "Nooooooooooo!". I've thought to myself, "they can't kill him like this!". And each and every time I've been right. They can't. They don't. They won't.
Perhaps it's because this season the writers have deviated massively from the events of the books. Blazing their own trail through Westeros, partly out of choice, mostly out of necessity seeing as author George RR Martin isn't anywhere near completing his saga.
Whatever it is there's no escaping the fact that our main heroes now carry an air of invincibility about them. Last night's episode was one psyche out too many. So many fights. So few fatalities.
The show is now simply crying wolf. Faking us out. Playing us for fools! All the danger's gone. Deflated like a lung that's been pierced by a knife.
A scene from the latest episode of Game of Thrones.
What made Thrones so great was that constant threat of death. Main characters were routinely ridded of. It was shocking. It made each battle or fight deadly serious. The Seven Kingdoms were scary as hell.
I don't know about you, but I really miss that place.
- Karl Puschmann (Still foolishly believes that one day he will actually sit down and read the books)
Stark choices
For Sansa Stark, it's never been grimmer up north. She's back in her ancestral home, where she should always feel safe, but she still isn't protected from the horrible affections of Bolton scum. Even Littlefinger doesn't let his creepy obsession save her.
This must surely be the catalyst for the real Sansa to reveal herself. She's hidden away her Stark fire for years now, only occasionally letting slip with the iron will and fierce honour of her family line. It's kept her alive through Joffrey's reign and she's still a survivor, but enough is enough. Her vows only bound her to them until death, and if she cut the throats of every Bolton arsehole in Winterfell in the next episode, nobody would mourn them.
Meanwhile, in a land far, far away, the husband who actually treated Sansa like a human being is also in strife - one stroke away from having his own throat cut. But Tyrion gets a word in, talks his way out of certain death, gains a tiny bit of power with his championing of Jorah Mormont, and gets in a good joke about the size of his penis.
Apart from reminding us that Mormont is a genuine killing machine - and with the greyscale, has nothing left to lose - it's the finest Tyrion moment of the season. He will need to do a lot more talking to get out of his current mess, but talking is what Tyrion does best.
- Robert Smith (has read every book, watched every episode, owns several T-shirts, but also can't stop thinking of Gene Parmesan every time Jaqen H'ghar shows up)
No more games
"I don't want to play this stupid game anymore," Arya Stark cried out last night. She was promptly told by face-changing Jaqen Miyagi-Yoda that 'they never stop playing' pointing out something we've known for a while - Arya doesn't even know what game she is playing. She obviously has no thirst for the throne - all she wants is revenge.
If she really wants to learn how to succeed in that then maybe she should be training under one of the people on her list: Cersei Lannister. The Queen Mother is certainly winning the game at the moment with some cold and calculated strikes in the last few episodes.
Cersei and Littlefinger are the Carter and McCaw of this game. Seeing them in tandem last night was a thing of beauty. But what is Cersei 's long game? She gets rid of the Tyrells and then she's out of money, alliances and a suitable queen for Tommen (there seems to be a big shortage of females from major houses remaining). Maybe not so smart after all.
The big winner of last night's episode was Ser Pounce. With Margaery locked away, Tommen's cat can finally find its spot back on the King's bed.
- Cameron McMillan (a Thrones trainspotter who can always be relied upon for up-to-date statistics and random factoids. He spent the time between seasons reading all the books)
Well, we can't say we weren't warned. The man who plays Theon Greyjoy, Lily Allen's little brother Alfie Allen, mentioned in a recent interview that a stomach-churning Thrones scene was set to air at the midway point.
Congrats - my stomach was well churned after sitting through that. I'm just glad I didn't have a roast boar in one hand and a glass of pear mead in the other. It would have ended up on the floor.
I had, up until The Worst Wedding Of All Time Ever, been quietly enjoying last night's episode. I liked seeking Cersei at her evil best. I enjoyed seeing Keisha Castle-Hughes put all that spear-and-pout practice into action. I finally got engaged in Arya's storyline when I saw all those faces lined up on the wall and it reminded me of The Governor's room full of zombie heads in fish tanks in The Walking Dead.
Most of all I loved seeing Tyrion at his fast-talking best. Nothing like threatening to sever his member and sell it to a 'C*** merchant' - seriously, how does one become a C*** merchant? - to see him pull out all the stops. That might be one of my favourite Tyrion scenes yet.
Even the complete lack of Brienne of Tarth couldn't put me off. Until we got to The Worst Wedding of All Time Ever. Now I just feel icky. And icky is a feeling that makes fans turn off a TV show. With four episodes to go in this season, Game of Thrones has some serious making up to do.
- Chris Schulz (only watches Game of Thrones for scenes involving the amazing Gwendoline Christie, aka Brienne of Tarth, aka the greatest woman on Earth)
