KEY POINTS:
Blimey, I thought, reading at breakfast this morning the headline "Sam Neill takes on Downstage"; in my copy of the weekly Wellingtonian free newspaper.
"Actor Sam Neill is poised to revitalise Downstage Theatre when he takes up the position of artistic director"; the story said.
"Neill will relocate to Wellington from his Otago vineyard later this month and is expected to assume his role on April 21."
This was unexpectedly inspiring news about Downstage, whose future has been hanging in the balance since a funding crisis last year (including not being able to pay wages) led to it requiring a $117,000 advance on its 2008 Creative New Zealand grant of $500,000, plus a further $15,000 from Wellington City Council.
Artistic director Catherine Downes left in December after not renewing her two-year contract, but stayed on as acting director until the end of last month.
Downstage's board has been considering a number of options put forward by a consultant after talking to various theatrical parties. These seem to include becoming a venue for hire, with no original in-house productions ? which would be a major loss for New Zealand theatre after Downstage's illustrious 44-year history. Closure is the worst-case scenario. Then there are the "potential new directions" board chairman Tom Hardy has spoken of.
Meanwhile, the programme cobbled together for the year ahead is looking patchy, to say the least, reflecting the lack of a firm hand on the tiller.
Good on Sam Neill, you'd have to say.
What a bold move. What a boon for the Downstage - and not just because of the relevant skills he'd bring from playing Cardinal Thomas Wolsey in The Tudors.
But why hadn't I read anything about this before? Where was Dominion Post arts editor Tom Cardy while all this was going on?
A naturally cautious man, and well aware of the week we are in, I checked the dateline. No, not April 1. And, anyway, a somewhat sophisticated hoax for The Wellingtonian.
So I Googled for more - a news report more prominent than page 13 of the local freesheet - and found this on John Smythe's Theatreview website.
This time the date was April 1.
Oh, the wag.
Reviewer Smythe, author of Downstage Upfront: The First 40 Years of New Zealand's Longest-Running Professional Theatre, later commented: "For the record, satirising the cult of celebrity was the point behind this April Fools Day jape. I mean to cast no judgement on the talent and integrity of the celebrities mentioned. Nevertheless, as a general statement, I do claim that too often the marketing imperative drives the creative decision. As always it is the quality of the product itself that has enduring value. Meanwhile someone has to take the risk of giving visibility and resources to the relatively low-profile talents that can deliver that quality - and the marketers need to work out how to achieve public awareness without demanding the easy way out."
Nonetheless, the "easy way out" is not without appeal.
Neill might well have some good ideas for the Downstage.
It is not that preposterous a notion.
Like all the best April Fools, this was one with just the right amount of plausibility.
What say you, Sam?
* This posting was written to the following soundtrack: Rough Trade Shops: Electronic 01 - a compilation worth hearing if only for the radical remaking of The Smiths' There Is A Light That Never Goes Out.
