Parks and Recreation, Heroes and Mad Men are some of the TV shows we wish were real.
Parks and Recreation, Heroes and Mad Men are some of the TV shows we wish were real.
The superhero world of Heroes? Or a trip back in time to Mad Men? Which TV world would you most want to live in? The Herald's TV writers make their picks.
Seinfeld
Monk's Cafe, on the cnr West 112th Street and Broadway. I want to eat lunch here in the second booth from the door. Forever. This is where Jerry, George, Elaine and Kramer had some of their shallowest, most pointless, most passive aggressive but also most funny conversations about nothing during Seinfeld's tremendous nine season run.
Sure Monk's owner, Larry the Cook, is a grumpy a-hole, and the cashier Ruthie Cohen isn't much better, and do you remember that time one of the waitresses gave George "the finger"? Still the menu sounds great: the egg white omelette, the English muffin, the Tuna on toast and of course their famous "Big Salad". I'm picking the coffee is lousy though. But what better place to spend the nothingness of eternity?
Okay, bear with me for a minute. I understand living in an office wall cavity with a giant dog sniffing around one wall and a possibly alive, definitely terrifying, compost heap outside the other might not be for everyone. But who didn't tune into The Muppets spin-off and think to themselves at one point or another, "What do those Doozer sticks taste like?" I did. I still do. More than is healthy.
They look like delicious candy canes made from ground up angel unicorns and even though Wikipedia tells me they're actually made from radish extracts, I still want to try one. Desperately. If anyone has some, please get in touch.
- Chris Schulz
Mad Men
1950s Manhattan? Yes please! Assuming of course, I have access to Betty Draper's wardrobe and Roger Sterling's liquor cabinet. Sure, you'd probably end up dying a hideous death from any number of smoking and/or drinking-related cancers but in the meantime, surrender to the bliss of ignorance and enjoy the ride in Don's Cadillac.
Is this a bit unambitious? Maybe, but you have to admit a day trip to Ferndale would be a lot of fun. You could stay at the Penlington, a hotel so fancy it has rarely if ever been shown on screen. During the day maybe go for a nice walk along that estuary or whatever it is behind the hospital. Lunch at the hospital cafe - maybe a chicken panini and a bowl latte? Then it's to the IV for a nice dinner and a few whiskies with Chris Warner while he bores you stupid talking about his favourite Flying Nun records. And if you feel like making it a big night, there's always Q Road...
- Calum Henderson
Ark II
The fictional TV universe that I always wished was real was, and is, that of the eerily prescient pollution-apocalypse sci-fi thriller (for kids) Ark II, which aired on New Zealand TV in the early '80s. It was set in a barren wasteland populated by mutants and cavemen and the like, but the lure of this world lay within the titular vehicle, a sleek, white van-ish thing, described as "a mobile storehouse of scientific knowledge manned by a highly trained crew of young people".
Inside, there was a food machine - a box that could produce any food you wanted at the press of a button. No device has ever so caught my imagination. I mean, really, what more could anyone possibly need in life? Also of appeal in this universe was the jet-pack featured in the opening credits and the chimpanzee, Adam, who was totally one of the family.
- Dominic Corry
Heroes
The world of Heroes would be beyond awesome in real life. Many of us would end up with amazing super powers - yes, it's a cliche, but that wouldn't make it any less cool. Imagine being able to heal from anything like Hayden Panettiere's character Claire Bennet, read minds like Matt Parkman, or simply be able to fly like Nathan Petrelli? Then there's my personal favourite: Hiro Nakamura, played by Masi Oka who will be back for the reboot, Heroes: Reborn. How great would it be to manipulate time and space like Hiro? Time travel, teleport, freeze time! No more waiting in the cold for the bus to arrive - you can just teleport to work!
A world of limitless super heroes, would be undoubtedly sweet - unless the government decides to hunt us down or use us as military weapons...
- Rachel Bache
Parks and Recreation
Arguably my pick is boring - there are no super powers in Pawnee, nothing supernatural going on and its biggest celebrity is a tiny horse (RIP Lil Sebastian). If anything the small Indiana town seems like quite a crap place to live ("we have our side of town and the raccoons have theirs," are words of comfort in one episode).
But I chose Parks and Rec because its characters are so kind. I remember watching episode after episode during a six-week stint working at the worst job I've ever had, longing for a boss like Leslie. In the world of Parks and Rec everyone is celebrated and everyone is loved, even Jerry/Gary.
A world where niceness and goodwill are always rewarded in the end would be really lovely to live in. That's a very earnest and dorky thing to say, but Leslie Knope is the ultimate earnest dork so at least I'm in good company.
- Tess Nichol
Pokémon
"We all live in a Pokemon world" - that line may be the chorus to the second season's theme song, but it also serves as inspiration for the television world I wish was real. The Pokemon world is a fairly drama free society: humans and their fire-breathing, water-spouting, earth-quaking counterparts live together in near perfect harmony. Any conflict, whether it is locally grown or apocalyptic in nature, is simple enough to be resolved by an 10-year-old and his immortal electric rat. From a logistical stand point, Pokemon would be able to solve most of our problems: free energy, free transport, free construction labour. Who wouldn't want to ride a whale to work that could also fight your enemies for you? Sounds like a win-win situation to me.
