Ahead of the NZ Film Festival (which is full of excellent films), the Herald team decided to watch five of the worst films we could think to inflict on each other. Today, George Fenwick looks at Tommy Wiseau's cult classic The Room.
By some strange coincidence, the evening I set aside to watch The Room for the first time was the same day the trailer for James Franco's The Disaster Artist premiered. The film is a dramatized look at the making of The Room, widely regarded as the worst of all time, with Franco playing writer/director/actor Tommy Wiseau with uncanny accuracy. Suddenly, The Room was back in the headlines, with writers around the world sharpening their pens as they prepared to delve back into the story of the shambolic erotic drama and its mysterious director.
I went into The Room blind. I knew of its cult status and how people revere it as peak 'so-bad-it's-good' filmmaking. I knew there were countless reviews and think-pieces honouring the film's legacy, but I chose not to read them and see for myself just what made The Room so bad.
I figured it'd be down to poor writing, lazy editing, or bad acting; the usual trappings that constitute a 'bad film'. For example: Last week, for some reason, I watched The Huntsman: Winter's War. It was dreadful, and I loved it. Emily Blunt going full camp as a witchy ice queen was all I never knew I needed in my life. But it was undeniably a "bad" film; its flimsy script and non-existent plot left little justification for its existence (apart from some top actresses having the absolute time of their life).
The Room is a completely different story. It cannot even be explained. There were times where I could not believe this was actually a real film. It's like an attempted surrealist drama, written by a five-year-old and edited on Windows Media Player.
Many writers before me have delivered their hot takes on the cultural cornerstone that The Room has become. I don't have much to add, but there were a few key things I took away from the whole debacle...
The Room is a pre-Beyonce visual album
About two minutes into The Room is a sex scene that could double as a music video. Soon after that, there's another. Then another. They're very unsexy, and for some painful reason, they run for the entire length of awkwardly sensual lounge-RnB songs. They beg the question; did Tommy Wiseau foresee the visual album format?
Regardless, the scenes are excruciating to watch, and even more icky in hindsight: Lead actress Juliette Danielle reportedly felt so uncomfortable filming them that she refused to do more than one.
Give that mum an Oscar, or a Teen Choice Award at the very least
It's hard to picture just how the actors would have felt performing against Wiseau's nonsensical script and broken, often grammatically incorrect delivery ("I did not hit her! I did naaat! Oh hi Mark").
It's hard to tell whether the supporting cast are doing their best with the given material, or if they've written off the film completely. The actress playing Lisa's mother Claudette is a stellar example of the former.
I got immense joy out of Claudette's one-minute visits to her daughter. Swanning into Lisa's apartment in leopard print blouses, and leaving inexplicably after very brief conversations and cups of tea, actress Carolyn Minnott is giving it her all - especially with that iconic line: "Nobody wants to help me, and I'm dying."
But she is dying, and no one cares. Claudette drops a bombshell on her daughter early into the film by revealing her breast cancer diagnosis - and it's literally never addressed ever again. Okay.
Why do I feel like I've met Denny at Whammy Bar or Cassette?
Denny is Lisa's uncomfortably intrusive neighbour who literally jumps into bed with her and Johnny at one point. But all I could think when he was on screen was the fact that if Denny walked into 2017, he'd be completely on trend. He'd be skating at Vic Park or trawling op-shops for a new flannel shirt. He'd be using his fake ID to get into gigs at Cassette and telling people about his Soundcloud account. From the hair to the shoes, Denny is a certified f***boi. For reference, here's a selection of looks:
Look #1. Photo / YouTube
Look #2. Photo / YouTube
Look #3. Photo / YouTube
Close-up of Look #3. Note the pushed-back hair - very modern. Photo / YouTube
The plot is kind of replusive
Spoiler alert: Lisa is sleeping with two men at once. Her betrayal drives Johnny to end his life. The film ends with Lisa crouched over Johnny's body, distraught.
The fact that Wiseau plays the main character in a film he wrote tells me something about his views on women. Lisa is portrayed as a nasty, double-crossing villain, and when Johnny dies, she's crushed by what she's done. Moral of Wiseau's story: Women are evil and ruin men's lives. Yuck.
It's unsurprising that this anti-film has hit cult status. The Room is so bewildering, laughable and utterly cringe-worthy that it's exactly the kind of film best enjoyed together. For those of you who've managed to avoid it all these years, you might not be able to for much longer; with The Disaster Artist due for release this year, The Room is about to be everywhere.
