KEY POINTS:
With its gas flames, its pools of water and stone walls, the stage set of the NZ International Comedy Festival gala opening had the unfortunate look of a sacrificial altar.
Which, of course, was apt. For this first night, starring much of the three-week programme has always been something of a trial by fire - the acts have just three or so minutes to make an impression. Or in some, mostly local, cases try to prove that their material has moved on from previous years.
The host does get a little longer. This year it was Englishman Jeff Green warming up for his subsequent two nights at SkyCity Theatre with routines heavy on first-impressions-of-Auckland gags (what a lot of Asian restaurants we have apparently), 'er indoors, and his recent fatherhood, the latter two of which felt like a throwback to a less enlightened age.
Many found him hilarious. He certainly made nearly all the acts he introduced seem fresh and inspired by comparison.
There were 23 of those, and not too many that festival regulars wouldn't have seen before - it is a rule, apparently, that you can't have a gala without Ewen Gilmour, even though he's not got a show of his own this year.
He was as engaging as ever and his carnivorous snails gag made up for his baffling one about Singaporean police recruitment.
Other local hardy perennials included Dai Henwood, who may have ditched the bizarre costumed personas of past years for the smart alec he appears as on C4. But he still finished up with his trademark "interpretative dance" to Prince's When Doves Cry and his interpretation of the lyric "animals strike curious poses" is still something to behold.
Other locals who impressed included Al Pitcher and Ben Hurley, both seemingly having benefited from plying their trade Up Over.
The offbeat Pitcher offered a disturbing little number about when he was a boy in Rotorua while Hurley comes recommended to those who like their Kiwi comics slick and effortlessly matey.
Oh, and Irene Pink's sweet and airy delivery countered neatly with some fiercely black-humoured punchlines.
The most original voice of the night was also female.
England's Josie Long might have started off perplexing (something about pinching ballpoints with company logos on them) but her discourse on flying kites and how a missing apostrophe can turn certain phrases into pure poetry was a whimsical wonder. Her own show is likely to be a ray of sunshine and comes highly recommended.
Long's ballpoint fixation was preceded by more stationery concerns - maybe it's the effect of The Office's success on both sides of the Atlantic? - in the routine by slightly hyper American Eddie Ifft.
He made a compelling case that printer cartridges and toner deserve their own war, rather than oil. He too would be someone to see in his own gig.
His fellow American Arj Barker - aka Dave in the Flight of the Conchords sitcom - brought his dude persona and stoner-logic to his own theories on global warming, wrapping up neatly with: "I'm not educated enough to finish this joke."
Canada's Jason John Whitehead was even more dude than Barker, with a winning combo of goofy delivery and sharp wit, and fellow countryman Charles Ross won the nerd-of-the-night prize with an excerpt from his One-Man Star Wars Trilogy show showing what it lacks for in special effects it sure makes up for in energy.
He delivered the trash compactor scene from the first movie so sadly we couldn't judge the depths of his Darth but he sure did a good Han, solo.
Affable John Fothergill got in a Star Wars reference too, describing his red-haired Geordie appearance "as a drunken Ewok", the result of inter-marriage between the English and the Scots, but not as politely.
He and the rest of the Brit squad - Paul Tonkinson, Jason Cook, and Mark Watson - gave the second half of the show a decidedly Brit bent.
Though returning Welshman Watson's sing-song voice helped make his rambling gags utterly charming, while Cook's confessional style - his own show is called My Confessions - would seem to possess an appealingly weird edge worth further investigation.
Tonkinson did a routine about English rugby. He may not have been here before but unfortunately we pretty much already knew that joke.
The Irish contingent of two was a study in non-stereotypical contrasts: Neil Delamere was chatty and outgoing, if leaving little impression material wise, while the returning David O'Doherty proved again he is something quite special, hunched over his tiny keyboard singing a song about text-message faux pas in a display of his self-described "low energy musical whimsy", which is sure to sustain in a show of its own.
The programme seems light on Aussie imports this year but festival regulars the Umbilical Brothers and Jimeoin had energy to spare and the UBs' clever clown act is still impressive. It's one thing to do an impersonation of a famous action star turned politician, it's quite another for the impersonation then to beat the both of you up. While Jimeoin's elastic eyebrows and whiteware imitation gave a happy spin cycle ending to the big night.
What: Crunchie Comedy Gala.
Where: Civic, Friday.
* The Crunchie Comedy Gala screens TV2, Wednesday, 9.30pm.
