KEY POINTS:
Logan Millar lay in bed last Tuesday night with girlfriend Michaiah Simmons, planning their future.
"He told me he loved me, we talked about getting married quite a bit but we both didn't want children," says a tearful Simmons, 22. "He was happy, we were lying in bed, it was raining hard; Logan loved the rain."
Less than 24 hours later, Millar, 31, was dead, having taken his own life in his $3.25 million Campbells Bay home on Auckland's North Shore.
Despite appearances - the home, a half-dozen cars, his fortune, and, at one point, a three-way relationship with Simmons and former model Nicky Watson - there was a dark side to Millar's life.
"I knew Logan was having financial difficulties," says Simmons. "He was really stressed. I think that was part of the reason he committed suicide. He just couldn't cope with that and being depressed."
Simmons and Watson give a remarkable insight into Millar's life.
The three used to share the same bed and some unusual bedtime antics. "We had a pole in the bedroom and Nicky and I would take turns dancing for Logan... we had a loving sexual relationship," says Simmons.
"I love Nicky. She is a warm person. She lived with Logan and me together, we shared the same bed because we had a loving relationship."
Nicky Watson confirms the arrangement, which ended this year when Watson left, and Simmons moved back in after a brief break. "Logan was possessive and hated it when Michaiah and I got close, so he kicked her out."
Watson had lunch with Millar a few months ago, and they spoke of her earlier suicide attempt. (Watson revealed in a TV documentary last year how she had gradually collected ex-husband Eric Watson's sleeping pills. She wrote Eric a note but never finished it as she fell asleep. Eric found her and she was raced to hospital to have her stomach pumped.)
Over lunch, Millar told Watson he had been on the internet, researching suicide. Watson was distraught and told Millar to call her anytime if he felt down. Millar was depressed, she said, but didn't like taking his medication because of the side-effects. He could never get the right combination.
Watson said she, Millar and Simmons all loved each other - and that Millar had even offered to reverse his vasectomy so he and Watson could have children. "The three of us had a harmonious relationship. When love is unconditional, it's free of jealousy and insecurities. Being part of three instead of two can be even more rewarding, when you receive the love of a man and a woman."
It wasn't just women Millar loved. His cars included a Lamborghini Gallardo, worth $375,000, a Jaguar S-Type worth $80,000 and a Bentley worth $350,000 - it was originally green but Millar had it painted black for $15,000.
Auckland businessman Pat Rippin, who suffers bi-polar dis-order, under-stood Logan Millar more than many. "I understand the horrendous side-effects of medication, especially if it doesn't kick in straight away. We have a group of friends who suffer mental illness and we meet once a month to talk about things.
"I spoke to Logan at great length about depression and he seemed quite receptive about getting help."
Millar built his huge fortune on the back of party pills. He was the director of Advanced Herbal Supplements, which produce a variety of pills, including Charge and Rapture.
He fought Government moves to ban the party pill active ingredient BZP, but a bill before Parliament means it is likely to be made illegal.
Another of Millar's close friends, Auckland mayoral candidate Steve Crow, said Millar never touched his own products.
"Logan was generous to a fault, he was a detailed and driven businessman. People judge me for being the porn king. He was judged as party pill king.
"One of my worst business decisions was when Logan asked me if I wanted to be involved in his party pill business in 2000, and I didn't. I didn't understand they would take off."
