Lydia's face in this scene was exactly mine when Suzanne revealed her intentions. Photo / TVNZ
Lydia's face in this scene was exactly mine when Suzanne revealed her intentions. Photo / TVNZ
We kicked off with Lydia flashing Moses, the production crew, and everyone at home with parts of her body Mum told me to keep secret until at least the third date. Poor gal.
Kimi felt sceptical of the newbie: "I know what happens to blondes in this house," she said. And everyone was unimpressed when Suzanne told the table she came on the show because "it is a great platform to advocate for my organization."
Ahh, the clout chaser. I've been waiting for you, Suzanne.
Moses stole Shenae for some one-on-one time leading me to believe this could be what Taylor Swift love songs are made of.
Shenae let it slip to Moses that Suzanne is here to promote her business and then Sam continued the discussion.
Sam felt like a kiss may have been in the making and since we're now on episode six I was hoping the same. But alas, she does not kiss her Prince Charming and everyone at home sighed because compared to sexy Lexie on the Bachelorette, this show feels a little like a "let's be friends" thing rather than a "kiss a couple of frogs till you find your princess" thing.
Dev got one-on-one time and used it to express her concerns about her age, but Moses settled her anxiety and told her age is just a number, it's where you are on your path that matters.
That was quite sweet Moses, I wish my mum had taken the same approach when 17-year-old me told her I loved a 32-year-old.
Is anyone else getting The Hunger Games vibes? Photo / TVNZ
Her smile returned and everyone was happy until eye candy Art showed up to break hearts with a unique rose ceremony.
For an intruder to stay, an OG bachelorette must go. So who would it be?
Dev put it perfectly: "The way I would describe tonight is just an absolute head f*** of a situation."
Kimi told us "If he does swap me, I will have a few choice words."
We said goodbye to Niki and hello to Annie - The silent assassin according to Shenae.
Then Alana. Moses proved Kimi right by sending her home and for once in popular culture, the blonde hair, blue eyed, pretty woman, doesn't win.
Suzanne's promotion platform was cut short which was definitely a good choice because I think we would have had the Hunger Games between her and Kimi if she stayed.
Lydia got to stay in the mansion proving blondes are not cursed and she took the place of *cue ad break* because I want to be like Art and build anticipation.
Cheers to an empathetic man and a strong woman. Photo / TVNZ
After the break, it was revealed Lydia took the place of Sam and my jaw DROPPED. How did we go from almost kissing to saying goodbye?
Men are a mystery, and Moses is proving to be the most mysterious of the lot.
After a night of drama, Chanel hopped in front of the confession cam to reveal her thoughts on the new girls and how this impacted her body positivity. Personally, I applaud her. In a show full of women, I was so surprised topic this hadn't come up yet. She tackled it so well and I assume the masses can agree. *Siri, play Lizzo's 'Juice'*
Chanel got a single date and her joy was so contagious that I'm 99 per cent sure it made everyone smile.
More importantly, I got the impression it, made Moses remember why he is still on the show despite how hard it can be at times - that's what she said. I'm sorry, I've been watching too much of The Office.
The potential love birds took to the sky, and we found out this moment had a very special meaning to Chanel. It was cute and romantic but I am DYING for a kiss now that Sam has put the idea in my head. Where is the spice? Where is the heat? Where is the romance?
Back at the mansion, Kimi called the new girls "plain" and it's clear she is being framed as the mean girl. As if a show of women competing for a man's affection wasn't backward enough, now we must play into stereotypes as well? Ugh.
Chanel and Moses continued their date at a lovely restaurant overlooking the ocean where Moses compared her to Minnie Mouse, they ordered "one of everything" (best case scenario for a date tbh) and had a lot of giggles.
Their heads are literally in the clouds. Photo / TVNZ
Chanel made me cry when she told Moses her brother passed away fishing and how she feels a connection to the ocean because of this.
"And that's why when we went parasailing today, I was like, I am between both parts of where I can be with my brother."
You had no business being this poetic and beautiful Chanel. My heart is broken.
Moses proved once again, he is the most empathetic man alive and comforted her perfectly.
At the mansion, the girls are surprised by eye candy Art who finally revealed some good news, they are going to sunny Nelson, see you there tomorrow.
• The Bachelor New Zealand airs at 7.30pm Monday, Tuesday and Wednesday on TVNZ 2, and tune in to hear Sol3 Mio weekday mornings on Flava's breakfast show.
Can't get enough of The Bachelorette NZ on TVNZ 2?
Catch up with ZM's Carwen Jones and Celia Whitley as they break it all down in the official podcast, Can I Steal You For A Second? After each episode airs, join the girls as they do a recap and dissect what's going on. They're the binge-watching friends you never knew you needed.
