"I might not look like the sexiest guy in the world." Oh touché Moses. Photo / TVNZ
"I might not look like the sexiest guy in the world." Oh touché Moses. Photo / TVNZ
Tonight's episode began with a heart-racing rose ceremony that felt more like getting picked for a dodgeball team in PE than a ceremony.
Finally, after an eternity of anxious waiting, we were down to the final two - Sabby and Steph. Their internal monologues were no doubt high-pitched screams. Dun, dun dun.
Moses says: "Steph, will you accept this rose?"
Poor Sabby was disappointed but don't worry Queen, there is plenty of fish in the sea.
And speaking of the sea, we were welcomed to the single date with none other than the beautiful Lou.
Lou is terrified of the sea, and in typical Lou fashion, she was determined to look at the sunny side of the situation. In an inspirational tone that rivalled any life coach I'd heard on any motivational podcasts: "When am I going to get the next time to do this?"
Cuteness overload: The hug that will make your heart grow three sizes. Photo / TVNZ
BRB, framing those words and putting them on my wall for every time I to have to face my fears.
You've probably seen the teaser, and asked yourself, does the bachelor die on a jet ski? Instead, you should ask where Moses got his goggles from because they're next-level sassy and I'm here for it.
After Moses had his fun on his new favourite toy, he handed over the reins to Lou who wasted no time going 0 to 100.
Lou gave us a bit of zig-zag action, that looked scarily similar to a Kiwi dad's boat driving when he is trying to throw you off the biscuit. The cuties look like they're about to swim with the fish, your heart is racing because Lou can't swim and just as they were about to take a plunge, they come back twice as strong.
Phew, what a relief that was. I really couldn't cope with the second-hand fear felt. Watching felt like I being thrown into the middle of the ocean myself.
The ball is your golden ticket, Cirrus. Photo / TVNZ
Back on land, they took a seat at a very romantic-looking picnic and Moses dropped a bomb to the confession cam.
"So much courage and strength, I love that about her." Excuse me, was that the L-word Moses? Catch you guys on the flip side because I'm shipping these two forever.
Back at the mansion, the girls started the "Bachelorette Open" and the winner was set to have one-on-one time with Moses without interruption. Sounds good to me.
Back in the ocean of love, Lou and Moses continued their date and it was all kinds of cute. Lou admitted this was her first one-on-one date (on the Bachelor and in real life) so Moses put on a lavalava to make her more comfortable. He proceeded to ask a deep, personal question that led to Lou inspiring us all with her bravery as she spoke about her late fiancé Sam.
To the surprise of no one familiar with our Bachelor, Moses was full of nothing but support for Lou, and gingerly placed his hand on Lou's arm. At one point he looked like he's hurting more than her. He's truly an empathetic man.
Cirrus might have won the match, but the girl group hug is the real winner. Photo / TVNZ
"She is a very special person," says Moses, and I screamed like a giddy high schooler when he gave Lou a rose.
Cirrus and Shenae were the last ones standing at the Bachelorette Open.
The sidelines were full of girl-gang enemy vibes. When the match started, it ended about as quickly as it began – who knew tennis was such a quick game? But before Cirrus could claim her prize, a group date was sprung upon the gang.
Art put a little spin on the date and told the girls they will have to complete a set of challenges before earning one-on-one time with Moses. Negin and Lana were best friend goals and nailed the challenge. Chanel and Steph showed their strong personalities.
Elsewhere, Niki and Kayla got overwhelmed and took a small meditation break. Once the challenge was over, Art revealed there is no clear winner, so the bachelorettes will have to decide between them who gets one-on-one time with Moses. Absolutely groan-worthy.
The girls decide Steph deserves the time and she trots off to see Moses but after an awkward surface-level chat, they both decided there didn't seem to be a connection between them both.
"Come save me Moses, Lana has locked me up." - Negin, probably. Photo / TVNZ
Back at the mansion, everyone got dressed fancy for a cocktail party and Cirrus geared up for her time with Moses. But the clueless Bachelor walked straight past her. Ouch.
Chanel decided to shoot her shot, asking for some alone time, and Moses doesn't say no. Good job gal.
Kimi asks "Have you ever tried to shoot your shot and had a girl say no?"
Yikes, it looks like she's hit a nerve, but surprise, surprise, you'll have to watch tomorrow to find out why.
The face of two gals who know the tea is about to be spilled. Photo / TVNZ
• The Bachelor New Zealand airs at 7.30pm Monday, Tuesday and Wednesday on TVNZ 2, and tune in to hear Sol3 Mio weekday mornings on Flava's breakfast show.
Can't get enough of The Bachelorette NZ on TVNZ 2?
Catch up with ZM's Carwen Jones and Celia Whitley as they break it all down in the official podcast, Can I Steal You For A Second? After each episode airs, join the girls as they do a recap and dissect what's going on. They're the binge-watching friends you never knew you needed.
