Steve Braunias: The Bachelorette NZ drongos go on the election campaign

The Bachelorette NZ has parallels to an election campaign. Photo / Supplied

One of the many social and cultural sub-texts of The Bachelorette, TV2's anthropological study of the mating habits of the New Zealand drongo, was made evident in last night's show as the drongos and the hotties got up to nothing very interesting in Buenos Aires.You had to read between the lines because the lines themselves were super boring.

They had some drinks. The show's wooden host Art Green creaked in and out of shot. Hottie Lesina and Hottie Lily, the two bachelorettes, laughed themselves silly for no good reason – is cannabis legal in Argentina?

The usual boring rubbish, then, but it was the way they went about doing nothing very interesting that revealed the show is acting as a kind of metaphor for something very important.

To watch The Bachelorette is to study the tactics, strategies and psychologies at work in a political election campaign. Ardern! Bridges! And the other leaders! Get thee to The Bachelorette for some valuable learnings.

It's a chance for politicos as well as normal people to see what works and what plays badly. The same things are at stake: making a connection, inspiring trust, taking the opposition outside and shooting them.

"We all need to shore up our position," said Drongo Conor. He's playing the long game on The Bachelorette. He doesn't buy into loud advertisements for himself; he's strictly into solid policies, and meaningful commitments. The guy doesn't stand a chance.

"I'm here for one reason and that's to do my thing," said Drongo Quinn. God he's idiotic sometimes and so is his elevated hair, which has a dumb life of its own. But he makes eye contact, and has a lovely smile. His policies are rubbish; ask him anything serious about his intentions, and he'll say it's the vibe. He's a strong contender.

"It seems like you guys have a difficult decision to make," creaked Art Green, addressing the two hotties, who form the show's electorate. They alone will vote the winners of the show's first-past-the-post political system. They're tough and they saw right through Drongo Jonathan, sending the poor sap home last night.

His big idea was to kiss babies. All well and good, except he meant the babies he'd have with Hottie Lesina and Hottie Lily. "I want kids," he gabbled. "Kids! Kids! Kids!" The guy was on the wrong show. He should have tried out for Married At First Sight.

Aaron's true colours are beginning to show. Photo / Supplied

But the most fascinating political campaign is being fought by Drongo Aaron. He's ruthless. He's there to smear and bag and accuse. Verily, the guy is playing the worst brand of politics: dirty politics. "One-trick pony!", he jeered at Drongo Logan. "Annoying!", he put down Drongo Marc. "Rubs people up the wrong way!", he libelled Drongo Jesse.

Drongo Logan called him out on it. Drongo Aaron stuck his ground. He was, he said, just being honest, and if he couldn't express himself, what was the good in that?

The other drongos looked on aghast. You could see them thinking: we don't like Drongo Aaron. I don't, either. He's the Trump of The Bachelorette, intent on draining the swamp, a hustler and a knave. Ugh. But that's the thing about Trump: he knows how to win.