KEY POINTS:
The Spearsgate teen pregnancy scandal has taken a dramatic turn with news that Jamie Lynn Spears' boyfriend could face statutory rape charges for getting her pregnant at 16.
But Casey Aldridge's fate all hinges on his age.
Reports so far have indicated that the sperm donor is either, 17, 18, or even 19. If it's the latter, then Aldridge could well be feeling the long arm of the law.
It's claimed that if the baby was conceived in the Spears' home state of Louisiana, the act could technically be considered "felony carnal knowledge of a juvenile" - which carries a prison term.
Fox News reports that Louisiana law defines unlawful carnal knowledge as "sexual intercourse with consent between someone age 19 or older and someone between age 12 and 17."
Jamie Lynn and on-again-off-again boyfriend Casey Aldridge fulfill these criteria.
Ok, rewind. I can't keep up with these hillbillies.
Yesterday's news that Jamie Lynn and Casey have split was apparently a hoax, they're now said to be itching to get wed.
A family friend tells People.com: "Jamie Lynn and Casey want to get married really bad. But both sets of parents don't think they should. They think they are too young and should wait
"The problem with Jamie Lynn is that she has the mind of a teenager. She doesn't understand the ramifications. She's just a child with not a lick of sense. There's no reasoning with her. Jamie Lynn is not thinking ten years down the road - not even two years down the road."
But with or without their parents' blessing for a shotgun wedding, the Spears clan are said to approve of her relationship with Casey.
A source tells People magazine: "He has always taken amazing care of Jamie Lynn. If anything ever went wrong, he always comforted her. He took care of her."
Meanwhile...
TMZ has spoken to Casey Aldridge's retired Baptist preacher uncle, Odus Jackson.
Watch his take on the teen pregnancy shocker here.
Want to read Jamie Lynn's Ok! Magazine interview in full? Click here.
Big sis Britney has sent Jamie Lynn a tasteful tank top with the words 'Hot Mama 2 B' emblazoned on the front.
See the offending article here.
Oh, and this was Brit Brit's reaction to claims that her brain is illegally parked.
On a more serious note...
Slim chance of reconciliation
Rap star Eminem's mother is reportedly dying from breast cancer, and has written her tell-all book My Son Marshall, My Son Eminem in a last-ditch attempt to reconcile with her estranged son.
Debbie Nelson says her son Marshall Mathers invented his "trailer trash" upbringing to be accepted in the hip-hop industry.
In her tell-all book My Son Marshall, My Son Eminem, Nelson reveals:
"After his first album 'Infinite' flopped, he reinvented himself as white trailer trash with a crazy welfare mom. I was shocked when I first heard the lyrics - but he constantly reassured me it was all a big joke. I went along with it for Marshall's sake."
Debbie Nelson's relationship with Eminem has been far from hunky dory for years.
Nelson claims she had no choice but to pen her feelings, stating that Eminem simply refuses to communicate with her.
A source tells starpulse.com, "She's dying of stage 4 breast cancer. She needs the money to pay medical bills and he won't talk to her so that's her open letter to him. Em agreed to try to help her pay some medical bills and try to get her insurance but couldn't because of the pre-existing medical condition."
There's something about Reilly
The Spears clan has dominated the news this week, so it's with open arms and glee that I welcome a bit of light relief...
Veteran actor John C.Reilly, the man with a face like a pit bull chewing on a wasp, has shared a particularly juicy anecdote with Maxim US about his time preparing for his role in soft-porn flick, Boogie Nights.
Reilly, who starred alongside Mark Wahlberg and his eye-watering prosthetic penis in the seminal flick, shares this gem with the masses.
Keen to indulge in some serious 'research' for his role in the film, the actor decided to visit the set of an actual, real-life porn film - purely to check out the technique and to get into character, you understand.
Well, the keen actor got a bit more than he bargained for by way of a suspicious-looking sticky deposit clinging to his body.
"We walk onto one porn set and this guy is giving this girl the business... It's a gruesome scene.
"Then the guy recognizes me, says, 'John C. Reilly! I'm such a huge fan!' and goes to shake my hand. I'm like, 'Oh God,' and he's like, 'Don't worry! I was using the other hand!"
"But he wasn't."
That's nice.
God, I love my job. And it's for stories like this that I pray at the altar of celebrity and thank my lucky stars I was born a scandal snitch.
LiLo's lesbian rumour
Cor blimey, what a week for scandal.
Now Lindsay Lohan jumps on the bandwagon and sparks those lesbian rumours again by moving in with her new "room-mate" and allegedly partaking in public displays of affection with her at lesbian parties.
LiLo and new best friend Courtenay Semel, daughter of Yahoo! CEO Terry Semel, have set tongues wagging after attending a housewarming party at the home of a "Power Lesbian."
"Power lesbian?" WTF? Lesbians connected to the national grid?
A partygoer said: "The girls held hands and were with each other the whole time." Oh well, that seals the deal for me.
The party insider added: "Lindsay seemed really nervous. It was the first time she's seen a lot of people from her past life and she seemed socially awkward - like she was sticking by Courtenay for support."
While at the party, Lindsay and Courtenay referred to themselves as "roommates" and told guests they had been living together in LA for around a month.
This isn't the first time LiLo's been the focus of lesbian rumours. The rehab star was linked to musician Mark Ronson's sister Samantha - a claim that both parties vehemently denied.
A rep for Lohan said, "The two are good friends, nothing more."
Ok, let's get one thing straight here: two girlies holding hands and enjoying each other's company does not a lesbian make.
LiLo's obviously milking the attention and playing the guessing game. Plus, having a big fat question mark hovering above her sexuality diverts attention away from her supposed booze and drug relapse.
Hey LiLo: if you can't convince 'em, confuse 'em, as they say.
Smoko shocker
I like the hypocrisy that belies the following statement made by Lilly Allen's rep confirming her pregnancy:
"I am pleased to confirm that Lily Allen and her boyfriend Ed Simons are expecting their first child. However, as the pregnancy is at a very, very early stage, the couple asks that you respect their privacy, as the health of Lily and their child is their paramount concern. As the pregnancy is at such an early stage the couple will be making no further comment but they are obviously both thrilled by the news. Lily's new album will be released as planned next year."
Ok, what's this picture of Lily sucking a cigarette but outside a pub, and sporting a baby bump? Scotch mist?
Her reps now claim she didn't know she was pregnant at the time.
Big boobie fall
Katie Price, AKA Jordan, AKA silicone T***, has allegedly been admitted to hospital after she took a tumble and fell down a set of stairs in LA
This rather ominous message appeared on her MySpace page:
Dec 19, 2007 9.14am
Katie in hospital!!!!!!!!!!
"Lots of message have come in asking if Katie is ok after falling a flight of stairs in LA, from what we hear, she is walking, although at that time, she thought she had broken both legs. Peter is back in England to be with the little ones and Katie will be home soon...maybe with a little surprise, who knows, new smaller boobs?!? lol
admin x"
Fact of fable? Pushed or slipped? Who cares?
*Insert obvious gag here*
Rest assured that Jordan will have scored minimum injury and been saved by her inflatable assets. She'll bounce right back!
Something for the weekend...
How's about a nice bout of Verbal diarrhea?
Check out this Japanese educational video that's meant to teach you about the finer details of the English language.
Repeat after me: I have a bad case of diarrhea
Sounds more like a case of verbal diarrhea, constipation of the brain to me.
You're dumped!
It's cringe worthy, evil and downright brilliant. Karma catches up with a girl who cheated on her boyfriend with her boss, and subsequently gets dumped live on radio.
Sit back, relax and listen as the carnage unfolds...
Enjoy your weekends, ya'll!
Fast gossip
Give me five minutes, and I'll tell you everything...
* Celebrity Christmas Cards: City Rag
* Colin Farrell is still hot: Popsugar
* Jessica Alba is still pregnant: Just Jared
* Tyra Banks is a scrooge: HBW
* R. Kelly is wanted: DH
* The Spice Girls suck: GB
* Kim Cattrall to donate her SATC furs to PETA: Mollygood
