Sideswipe: September 8: Unauthorised merch

This might well be unauthorised merchandise.

Clever nicknames

1. In the 1950s, there was a very thin Marist Brother at Sacred Heart College, Brother Lambert. He was nicknamed "Friday", because in those days, there was no meat on Friday(s)!

2. Australian rugby league players come up with some great nicknames ... there was a player for Newcastle Knights called Matt Hilder, so of course his nickname was "Waltzing".

3. Working in the Australian mining industry there was a short , very rotund bloke who insisted on being addressed as "Sir". We finally twigged - circumference.

4. There's a lawyer in Queenstown known as "White Island" - he explodes occasionally (but spectacularly) but is mostly just gas and hot air.

5. At Air NZ in the 80s we had a guy we called "the London fog" because he would never lift - anything!

6. I met an old Englishmen in Melbourne who was universally known as "Seaweed". He constantly said, "that's for sure" (foreshore).

7. At work there was a woman called Monique, known as Mo. She would often not turn up for her shifts so we nicknamed her "No Show Mo".

8. I worked with a man nicknamed "Major". He was the maintenance foreman and every job he was asked to do was a major job.

9. One of the best nicknames was Wallabies captain John Eales, called "Nobody" because "nobody's perfect". (He was very good).

10. "The Lantern" - a bit dim and always has to be carried.

Dog proves his own innocence

"I used to live in the country," writes a Reddit user. "We kept finding dead, mauled baby chicks and blaming the dog. So one day she brought us a live one to show she wasn't hurting them, led us to the chicken coop, and showed us the hole they'd been falling out of. They'd fall out and get attacked by wildlife."

Carb craving explained

The desire to stuff our face with carbs can now be explained. It was assumed that we could only detect five different primary tastes: sweet, salty, sour, bitter and, added to the list seven years ago, umami (a savoury taste). Oregon State University researchers believe we're capable of tasting a "starchy" flavour too. The participants called the taste "starchy" as opposed to sweet, with Asian participants describing the flavour as "rice-like". Caucasians described it as "bread-like" or "pasta-like". They were even able to make out the "starchy" flavour when they were given compounds that blocked their tongue's receptors for sweet tastes - which seems to prove that starch and sugars are separate tastes.

Deal breaker?

"First time sleeping over at her place. Should I leave now?"

TV: Couch kumera Paul Casserly explains the appeal of a certain TV show you may not admit to watching, but do and probably enjoy..."Like the rise of Trump, Real Housewives Of Auckland (RHOAKL) appeals partly because we love something that gives us permission to lower our standards to where they actually reside." Read more here...

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Got a Sideswipe? Send your pictures, links and anecdotes to Ana at ana.samways@nzherald.co.nz