Sideswipe: September 8: Fixing famous paintings with AI

"First up, the Mona Lisa! Honestly, Da Vinci did a pretty sloppy job on this one by today's standards, but using Stability Diffusion we were able to bring her up to date with contemporary trends," writes @images_ai

What happens when someone is left at the altar?

Celebrant here. Definitely have had this happen. It is usually pretty awful, and confusing. And it is, in most situations (except of course same-sex couples), the groom. I've only ever seen the bride skip out on TV. The party usually waits 10-15 minutes after the designated start time. Then there's an awkward moment and, usually, someone gets a call or text or is sent to deliver the bad news. This generally results in tears and statements of: "I knew it!" Some folks shuffle the bride off, and then usually Dad or a senior member of the family makes an awkward statement. If there was a reception with a meal planned, folks are either invited to stay and eat or the food is sent to a shelter.

Bollocks to bollards

The bollards on upper Harbour Drive are designed to keep cyclists "safer" but some days they are having the opposite effect. Dr Matthew Brick, an orthopaedic surgeon and cyclist, had to take evasive action the other day as this van driver found themselves wedged on top of the bollards. Brick says: "The bike lane is already collecting slippery moss, gravel and broken glass. Upper Harbour Drive used to be one of the safest, most enjoyable bike routes in the city. With more than one million dollars of taxpayer money spent, it is now a dangerous dog's breakfast. I would assume the planner was not a cyclist. Will it take a fatality before this obstacle course is removed?"

Old music correction

After a memorable performance on Top of the Pops, Soft Cell's reworking of Gloria Jones' 1964 song Tainted Love reached number one on this week in 1981 and was ranked as the best-selling single of the year in the UK. That was until after rechecking the numbers in 2021, the title was awarded to The Human League's Don't You Want Me?