Sideswipe: October 28: Parallel, um, parking?

Budge over.

Perceived crimes revealed on community pages ...

1. I employ a cleaner even though I am not working! Burn me at the stake immediately.

2. I like dogs off the lead.

3. I have a wind chime. Took it down after comments online collectively assured me it was the devil’s work and made me the worst neighbour ever.

4. I used to be what lazy parents on social media called a “performance parent”.

5. Between the hours of 8am and 10pm at the weekends my children have unrestricted (in terms of time not content) screen access.

6. I have a tumble dryer (who knew that was an issue) and I’m a boomer. I also drive when I could walk.

7. I love weddings! And I don’t even mind being invited without my other half.

8. I will sit at the nicest table available in a cafe even if it’s for four and there’s only two of us!

9. I am unable to stretch a single chicken over three meals.

Power of the masses

One for all and all for one.

It’s a trap!

There’s a thriving new profession in Brazil, known as “loyalty testers”. Women hire them to hit on their boyfriends or husbands and see if the men reject the advances of these seducers. One of these testers, who is named Nicolly, was approached by a married woman who hired her to “accidentally” message her husband on WhatsApp. The man enthusiastically continued the conversation with the strange, beautiful woman. Nicolly then took screenshots of the conversation and sent them to her customer. She has also been hired by women who want to destroy the married man’s marriage in the hope of creating an opening. Nicolly earns about US$750-$950 per month doing this job.