Sideswipe: November 7: Sophisticated Benny Hill humour lives

NZ Herald

6 Nov, 2017 05:20 PM3 mins to read

Sophisticated Benny Hill humour lives on in this FRAGILE sticker. (Spotted by Nick, who had bought exterior trim for his wife's car off Trade Me.)

Steamy shortcut

Getting to the juicy stuff in your bodice ripper just got a little easier with a new product for romance audiobooks that lets listeners skip to "the good part". The Amazon company launched the Audible Romance Package, which gives users access to thousands of audiobooks with the "Take Me to the Good Part" tool where listeners can miss character development or plot and jump to the titillation they're really after. For example, this excerpt from Sylvia Day's Bared To You - "He sank into an elegant crouch directly in front of me. Hit with all that exquisite masculinity at eye level, I could only stare, stunned," is categorised as the First Meeting. Other categories include Flirty Banter, Sexual Tension, Proposal and Hot, Hot, Hot. The romance package also gives listeners the option to peruse audiobooks that are categorised as Sweet, Simmering, Sizzling, Hot Damn and the steamiest of 'em all, O-O-Omg.

Long-held misconceptions

"My friend thought artichokes were animals up until he was 20," writes a reader. "I guess he never ate them before and assumed they were animals because people ate artichoke hearts. I was vegetarian for 6 months and was talking about the bomb artichoke dip I made and my friend goes, 'but wait, I thought you didn't eat meat'... 'I don't ...' ... 'but why are you eating artichokes?' ... 'Carl, do you know what an artichoke is?' ... Carl didn't know what an artichoke was."

Fruity not festive tree

"Pineapples are the new Christmas trees," declare Marie Claire magazine. Um, no they're not. One commenter agrees, adding, "the girls at work told me that if you see a pineapple on someone's porch it means they're swingers." could be an interesting festive season for trendsetters.

Soiled underwear test

How burying underwear in a paddock can lead to a better tasting roast. Scotland's Agriculture and Horticulture Development Board claims interring a pair of cotton smalls in a paddock can reveal vital information about soil fertility. According to scientists, sterile and lifeless soil will keep underwear intact, but organically thriving soil will eat away at the briefs, leaving nothing but the elastic waistband. Dig up the pants after just two months, and it is possible to judge how healthy the land is. Soil conditions on beef and sheep farms directly influence how well grass and forage crops grow and, consequently, the quality of the feed they produce. And better feed produces healthier, tastier animals. (Via The Telegraph.co.uk)