Sideswipe: November 28: Santaur Claus?

Sideswipe - ana.samways@nzherald.co.nz·NZ Herald·

27 Nov, 2014 04:30 PM3 mins to read

Opinion by Ana SamwaysLearn more

Santaur, the part Santa, part centaur Christmas tree decoration.

Ask a silly question ...

A Reddit user submitted a question about gardening in New Zealand and there have been some pretty great responses: "My friend told me he heard that you can't have a garden in New Zealand. That it is illegal. I'm not sure if this is true. I Googled it, but got no founds. Could you guys please tell me?" The best answers include:

1. "Highly illegal. Any plant production is punishable by an instant fine. If it is found you are producing produce for supply (more than four fruit or vegetable plants) then it is punishable by up to 10 years' prison."

2. "As someone who made his first million on the black market for hydroponic tomato-growing equipment, I should note that every cloud has a silver lining ... How did I make my second million? Selling garden location details to the police and Secret Service ..."

3. "They usually let you off for possession of potatoes. I was pulled over and the police found two new potatoes rolling around in the back seat. It was my brother's car but I took the blame. They let me off with a verbal warning."

4. "[It is illegal] if it is found you are producing produce for supply (more than four fruit or vegetable plants) ... that's why they are always going on about 5+ a day for fruit and veg." Read more here.

5. "We can't have gardens because it'll cause the sheep population to blow out again. And after the Sheep Wars of the late 60s having taken such a toll on the general population, we can't risk it again. If you are attacked by a sheep it's best to play dead. They only go after live prey."

6. "My brother was killed in the Moutoa Gardens protest. My uncle lost an arm in the 1981 Spring Bok-choi Riots. My sisters were thrown into prison, without trial, after they were found repotting gardenias. Every day I live in fear, alienated by my community for having relatives marked by the Green Thumb."

Roadside 'beating' was all about a spider
"Hold on" moment: "I was driving with my daughter when she started screaming hysterically and burst into tears," writes Danny Robins. "I said 'What is it?' Through the tears all she could scream was; 'Get it off! Get it off!' I looked over and crawling up her arm was the biggest spider I have ever seen. I pulled over and she leapt from the car still screaming. I saw that it was crawling down her back. I'm not one for spiders myself so I rolled up a magazine and started to try and whack this thing off her. As I stood by the side of the road, hitting my sobbing daughter across the back, I looked up and couldn't help but notice people in passing cars were staring at me strangely and the thought crossed my mind that it would be very easy for someone to misinterpret what they were seeing."