Sideswipe: November 26: Preventing megalomaniacs

From a Brazilian condom ad.

If dinosaurs lived today

Q: Could a dinosaur survive in today's climate conditions?

A: "It's doubtful. Tyrannosaurus rex and Triceratops, for example, lived in the Cretaceous Period 145-66 million years ago (whatever Jurassic Park would have you believe). The average global temperature at the time was about 4C higher than today, with much less difference between the temperature of the equator and the poles. The sea temperature averaged 37C, so even tropical seas today would be too cold for marine life of the time. But land dinosaurs would be quite comfortable with the climate of tropical and semi-tropical parts of the world. That is, until they all died of altitude sickness. Studies of air bubbles trapped in amber show that the atmosphere of the Cretaceous may have had up to 35 per cent oxygen, compared to today's 21 per cent. For T rex, this would feel like he was at the base camp of Everest. In such thin air, dinosaurs would be too breathless to chase hapless tourists," says zoologist Luis Villazon.

Anyone else have a husband that takes off pants like he's been raptured?

Decoding Mum's emojis

"Loudly crying" face: She's aiming for tears of laughter and, without her glasses on, this looks a lot like it. No need to put her right as hysterical weeping will often make sense as a response from her, like when your dad makes yet another awful joke on the family WhatsApp or you send over a funny video of your young child saying "f**k" instead of "duck".

"Cringe" face: She thinks the cringe face is grinning and uses it as an indicator of pure joy and excitement. Got a promotion? Cringe. Sent a picture of your new car? Cringe. The news that you're getting married? Cringe. Actually, that one was correct as she really does not like your partner.

Aubergine: Oh, for goodness' sake, she's making a veggie curry when you go around tonight and wants to make sure you like the ingredients, so stop sending back laughing emojis. The point you need to get embarrassed is when she accidentally sends you a message intended for your dad that ends with the rocket followed by the spurting whale. (Via The Daily Mash)