Sideswipe: November 23: Cow photobomb

A bothering bovine has a laugh over a stuck horse. Photo / Supplied

Those were the days

1. “Primary schoolkids have iPhones. Man, when I was their age I used to spread PVA glue on my hands, wait for it to dry and peel it off.”

2. “If you can’t tell which family member is coming up the stairs by the speed and weight of their footsteps ... Are you even family?”

3. “Buying furniture in 2022 is like, here’s one single dining chair, it’s $400 and it will ship between six to eight business years.”

4. “Always nice to see my son’s apple return home from its daily school outing.”

5. “If you grew up in the 80s, your bathroom was nautical-themed and has seashell-shaped soaps in the bathroom you weren’t allowed to touch.”

6. “We thought it was our ability to love that made us human, but it turns out it was actually our ability to Select Each Image Containing A Boat.”

7. Interviewer: “There’s a considerable gap in your CV”.

Me: “Yes, I was a stay-at-home daughter”.

Predicting the future

In 1953, Dr Wilton Krogman of the University of Pennsylvania used his skills as a physical anthropologist (and his knowledge of human evolution) to predict what humans will look like five million years in the future. He decided that humans will evolve into a species he called Homo cerebrointricatus, meaning super-brained man. Our descendants will have telepathic brains, no stomachs, and “flat, round, pedestal-like feet”.

Nick names

Photo / Supplied

“Someone in my grandma’s garden club brought eight devilled eggs to a potluck and my grandma started calling her ‘four eggs’ behind her back.”