Teenage dirtbag shenanigans
1. When I still lived at home, my parents were trusting (or daft!) enough to go away for the weekend and leave me at home. I would have been about 17 and so I invited some people around. Things got a bit messy and I ended up throwing up out of my bedroom window, which is right above our front door. Our new neighbours of one day sat on their new deck, looking absolutely horrified. The next morning I threw up copious amounts of cranberry juice and convinced myself that it was blood and that I was dying.
2. Daughter attends college in Hamilton, I am in Kihikihi 45 mins away. There is no bus service after 4pm and with my full-time employment it is necessary to confirm need or not for pick-up. Roll on 8.15pm, daughter txts "at Countdown bus stop. Can you get me muma?" It's a dark and stormy winter evening. Freaking out. Images of my child in the dark with her overnight bag with all manner of unseemly night creatures roaming around the streets. So, out the door - ringing, ringing all the time. Her phone battery has died so break speed limit in dressing gown, Ugg boots on main road to Hamilton. Five minutes away from destination, text from unfamiliar phone ... "Hey ma. It's all good. My mate's mum says I can stay. MWAH. Love you."
A tiger for porn
How to ruin your reputation in one easy step. A reader writes: "My child is heading to the Scout Jamboree in Blenheim next month. The troop has a tiger theme and I spotted a toy tiger on the top of a discard pile outside a neighbour's place. Perfect. Asked if I could have him, repaired the holes and off he went to a pre-jamboree camp. Pick-up time and I'm getting some rather funny looks from the leaders. The scouts had felt something lumpy inside the tiger and upon investigating found (and handed in) three pornographic DVDs. Aargh! Still struggling to look the neighbour in the eye."
