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Home / Entertainment

Sideswipe: November 20: Sweet-as lounge furniture

Ana Samways
By Ana Samways
Sideswipe - ana.samways@nzherald.co.nz·NZ Herald·
19 Nov, 2015 04:00 PM3 mins to read

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John Ormond of Whakamaru noticed this sweet-as lounge furniture for sale in Tokoroa.

John Ormond of Whakamaru noticed this sweet-as lounge furniture for sale in Tokoroa.

Ana Samways
Opinion by Ana SamwaysLearn more

Post code comes before pensioners

"We have been frequent travellers on the Fuller-operated ferries from Opua to Russell, for more than two years," writes Llewellyn L. White. "Because we live in Moerewa in the Bay of Islands we use the Vehicular Ferry Resident Concession card. This card costs $61 for 10 trips, making a return journey $12.20. The card is now to be restricted to four post codes - none of which are ours. Fullers offered us a 10 per cent discount card which will take our round trip costs to $22.50. Although pensioners, we work hard in the Bay of Islands community, being volunteer teachers, CYF caregivers and St John volunteers ... What's Fullers up to? "

What it's like to be a woman

1. Ladies, never show panty lines!!!!!! It breaks the illusion that your pants are actually your skin!!!!!

2. Dolls teach girls very unrealistic body standards. A Russian doesn't have to have many tiny Russians inside her to be beautiful.

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3. Birth control pills are like cute little advent calendars for a really shitty holiday.

4. Women's deodorant scents: rose, cotton, spring, meadow ... Men's: WINTER ICE, SHARKNADO, GLACIER PUNCH, ANTIFREEZE, GUN.

5. Recipe for liberation as a woman: eat five man buns with heads still attached, claim new power.

6. The moral of Beauty and the Beast is that looks don't matter, as long as you're a man.

(Via Buzzfeed)

Smartphone generation sexting aid

Durex try on a condom emoji for size
Durex try on a condom emoji for size

Durex have developed a condom emoji to help sexting natives communicate safe sex practices. Emoji are an essential part of how the smartphone generation communicate - Oxford Dictionaries named the Face with Tears of Joy emoji as their official Word of the Year. The whimsical cartoonish symbols are a new language, used to communicate things kids don't want their Luddite parents to understand. The humble eggplant is apparently suggestive of a penis and a taco of a vagina and these are ways of being suggestive about sex, not dinner. (

Emojipedia

could be helpful)

Discover more

Opinion

Sideswipe: Photobombed by labour

11 Nov 04:00 PM
Opinion

Sideswipe: November 13: Queensland lines don't play by the rules

12 Nov 04:00 PM
Opinion

Sideswipe: Fire! Where's the nearest hydrant? Oh.

15 Nov 04:00 PM
Opinion

Sideswipe: The third cut is the deepest

16 Nov 04:00 PM

Cops need to clean up their act

A man who was forced to spend nearly a month in jail is suing the cops who mistook his homemade soap for cocaine. Alexander Bernstein, 32, of New York says the two "brick-sized" packages of soap were a gift for his sister. The 2.2kg package was wrapped in clear plastic, red tape and stuffed in his boot. A field test showed that the substance was cocaine, but lab testing concluded it was soap. (Source: The Morning Call)

Toys from the $2 shop are the best.
Toys from the $2 shop are the best.

Picture this: Spanking aides (and the occasional reversal) was a big thing in these retro comic panels...

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Picture this: The detail involved in the 8.5 million dollar Astollat Dollhouse is incredible...

Video: Mog's Christmas Eve....(Too soon?)

Herald app users tap here for today's video.

Got a Sideswipe? Send your pictures, links and anecdotes to Ana at ana.samways@nzherald.co.nz

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