Sideswipe: Nov 8: Egg bed

Sideswipe - ana.samways@nzherald.co.nz·NZ Herald·

7 Nov, 2017 04:00 PM3 mins to read

"Five beds and about 10 comfy chairs in this house. So where do you sit?" tweets Two Headed Boy @leetabix)

The best NZ social media reckons

1. Can we take some more refugees and give up Ben, Vicky, Bel and Hadyn? (Stewart Sowman-Lund)
2. Someone I was talking to said a changing situation was a "moving beast" instead of a "moving feast". It wasn't correct but was better. (Ali Ikram)
3. I can't put my airbud wireless headphones in without thinking of the bit in Blackadder Goes Forth where he tries to get sent home from the trenches by sticking two pencils up his nose. (Deborah Hill Cone)
4. Old journo mate reckons there's three stories you can guarantee in NZ. "Unseasonable" spring storm kills lambs is one. (Jeremy Rees)
5. Kim Hill does this magic trick where her questions morph into hand grenades as soon as they leave her mouth. (Anna Bracewell-Worrall)

Bakery left me breathless

"They looked a bit deflated, so I didn't buy them," Mat Barnes. (Spotted in Kaitaia.)

Choose your words carefully
A reader writes: "My workmate used to take a little old lady he knew out and about in her wheelchair from time to time. One day he didn't make it to an appointment and when I inquired about it he told me he had to visit someone in hospital ... 'Oh,' I said, 'it wasn't that little old lady you used to push around was it?' the horrified look on our workmates' faces made it clear I should probably choose my words better."

Lipstick lawsuit
Two years ago a woman walked into a Sephora cosmetics store in Los Angeles to try on lipstick and, she says, walked out with herpes. This according to a lawsuit filed in Los Angeles Superior Court on October 26, in which the woman claims Sephora "failed to clearly warn customers about the risk of getting oral herpes from trying on lipstick". According to the complaint, the woman had never had a cold sore until she tried out the sample lipstick at the store. Now she is suing for emotional distress, the result of having an "incurable lifelong affliction", NBC News reports.

Shower becomes a bath

"This is the shower on the beach at Gould Reserve [Takapuna Beach] a couple days ago," writes Roger. "The water doesn't drain away. It's been like this for three weeks. I phoned the council 10 days ago: nothing. I checked today. Still the same."

This takes the biscuit

Weather you are underwhelmed by the modern Gingernut or think the Afghan is ruined by the walnut; if you are a secret fan of the Sultana Pastie or an endorser of the classic Shortbread, make you voice heard and vote for Biscuit of the Year 2017 here.

Too drunk to disembark with dignity

"A party boat pulls over to unload people in Utrecht, Netherlands," write Miss Cellenia. "You may have to watch the full video here a few times to catch all the details.The guy who steps off the boat should have waited until someone secured the craft to the shore. The force he exerts causes the boat to move back, dooming both women. The woman in white gets helped out of the water, but then falls back in all by herself. Alcohol might have been involved.Two beers make it to the dock, the woman's beer falling over immediately. The guy puts his down to help them, but it falls over, too.When the guy pulls on the woman in purple, he injures her shoulder. She has trouble convincing him that she's hurt. So it was a disaster all around. Did I miss anything?"

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