I often get PR people pitching stories on behalf of their clients. I usually ignore them but this one was too funny: "Hello ello," it read [was that an obscure reference to an old TV show or a typo?] "Hope you're having a lovely day! [Yes, yes what do you want?] It's always around this time that bikini-body panic sets in, and everybody goes mental trying to get in shape for summer. [Er, not in my world lady ... where's this going?] But even though our pets don't have to wear speedos, it's still important for them to stay in shape - for their overall health and happiness."
Sales commissions to blame for irritating shop staff
Jeremy who was uncomfortable at being followed around JB Hifi has an update: "It may have more to do with sales assistants being on commission than we looked like dodgy thieves. But that makes no difference to how we feel in that situation. It does raise the issue of commission in jobs like this. Commission sales turn some people into absolute pains - and in a CD/DVD/appliance store - it does this. I don't know why someone should earn commission on something they haven't convinced me to buy. I go into these stores to find music I already like - not to be convinced to buy something I don't want."
Warm welcome well worn
A reader writes: "Recently I went into a shoe shop to buy a pair of shoes. There was a young girl at the entrance whose job was to welcome shoppers. 'Hellowelcome' she says as I walk in. I went to the left. Women's shoes. Men's must be on the right. 'Hellowelcome' as I walk past her again. But these are just sports shoes, I want casual ... Maybe they're over the other side. 'Hellowelcome' as I walk past the third time. Nope, only women's shoes this side. Guess they are over on the right. 'Hellowelcome' as I walk past the fourth time. Has she not yet realised I'm the same person? I still can't find anything so I look around for an assistant. The only one in range is the Hellowelcome Girl. I go over to her and, despite coming up to her from inside the shop I get the inevitable, 'Hellowelcome'. I ask her where the men's casual shoes are. She stares at me blankly then looks around wildly for another assistant before automatically saying 'Hellowelcome' as someone else walks in. I gave up and walked out. She says as I leave: 'Thankyoucomeagain.' Sure I will, sure I will."
