Sideswipe: March 25: Mask or merch?

Mask brand from Turkey.

How do you not know that?

1. When my friend bought a house, a month into home ownership she asked me when the council workers were coming to cut her lawn because it was starting to look like weeds. It was awkward when I had to explain that she needs to cut her own lawn or hire someone.
2. Co-worker announced she was pregnant, then immediately said she was sad that she couldn't take a bath until the baby was born. I stared, confused, and asked: "Why can't you take a bath?" She looked at me as though I was stupid and said: "Because the baby will drown!" I had to walk away.
3. My wonderful, selfless, beautiful younger brother asked me how to make ice last year. He's 24.
4. A friend told me that he had needed to buy another new vacuum cleaner, which was the third that month. I asked him what was wrong with it and he said: "It's not picking things up anymore!" So I asked if he had emptied it. He didn't know that was a thing.
5. My friend, who was almost 40, had never paid a bill before. When she got divorced and lived on her own for the first time, I got a text from her asking if my power was out too. She realised it was just her and her excuse was she never paid attention to the bills because she thought they were receipts and that the cost was included in her rent.

Mouldy bun

Chinese company Nanjing Yican Foods has been turning a lot of heads with a rather unique-looking product – a matcha cheese bun that looks a few months past its expiration date. Underneath its light brown exterior, the cheese matcha bun has a light green appearance that looks just like the disgusting food mould that develops on old bread products. Only it's actually worse than that, as squeezing the bun causes the green matcha and cheese mixture to ooze out of it ...

Cutting-edge inventions

Selfie toaster: Plain toast is bland. To help liven it up, this toaster from the Vermont Novelty Toaster Corporation released in 2014 is customised using a photo of your face that guides a special metal plate. The result is perfectly crisp toast that you can then use to butter yourself up.
Fish skin bikini: This beachwear introduced in 2003 is made from tanned and dyed salmon skin that would otherwise have become chicken feed. The Skini company of London sold them for $335 and up.
Bra dryer: As undergarments go, bras can be hard to clean — normal wash and dry cycles in a machine can ruin them. In 2009, inventor Alexander Farennikov created the Bra Dryer, which uses infrared light and air flow to dry a bra in just 30 minutes. (Via Mental Floss)