Sideswipe: March 22: Sunsmart sinners

"The church down the road from us has cracked us up with their recent billboard," writes Michelle. "It's outside Holy Trinity Anglican Church in Forest Lake, Hamilton."

Best CPR Jams

First responders are taught to administer 2-inch sternum compressions (between the nipples) at a rate of around 100 beats per minute (bpm). To help nail that rhythm New York Presbyterian Hospital has released a 100bpm playlist with 40 tracks including the highly appropriate Staying Alive by the Bee Gees and Gloria Gaynor's breakup anthem, I Will Survive.

Worst job you've ever had

1. "Working in a fish factory in Norway scooping the caviar out with a spoon for 8 hours a day on a production line in a freezing cold factory where I couldn't talk to anyone because of the noise/language barrier. Some of the caviar sprayed in my mouth and I thought "well, at least I can say I've tried caviar". It turned out to be poo ... Then I got demoted to the section where they kill the fish and slice their gills so they bleed out, had to slice a few thousand fishes gills a day. When the fish were in season they would shoot out semen all over the place ... And I got covered head to toe in blood and had to start work at 2am every day."

2. "I sprinkled mud on washed potatoes so they would look freshly dug when they hit the supermarket. Most depressing holiday job I've had."

Sicilian slap-down for mobsters

In the movie The Godfather, Don Vito Corleone said that "A man who doesn't spend time with his family can never be a real man." An archbishop in Sicily has given the real-world mafia a clear "Sicilian message" by banning them from becoming real godfathers and participating in baptisms. "The mafia has always taken the term godfather from the church to give its bosses an air of religious respectability," Archbishop Michele Pennisi said, as reported by the BBC.

The things churches will do to entice the youth.....

Liar liar ...

Miami defence lawyer Stephen Gutierrez caused quite a spectacle when, representing a man accused of arson, he rose to address jurors, and his pants appeared to catch fire. He insisted afterward that a malfunctioning e-cigarette caused smoke to billow from his pocket. (Via Miami Herald)

Spotted in Victoria St by Liz Tibbutt.

Modern Monopoly: "...the boot, wheelbarrow, and thimble have been expunged from the iconic game, replaced by a Tyrannosaurus rex, rubber ducky, and penguin. Voters passed up over 60 other contenders, among them an emoji and a hashtag. It's the latest in a series of efforts to update the game..." Read more here.

Better than pesticide: These Indian Runner ducks are heading to work at South Africa's Vergenoegd vineyard - they eat the white dune snails that would otherwise threaten the vines.

Video: Life is better if you start sharing the ride...

Got a Sideswipe? Send your pictures, links and anecdotes to Ana at ana.samways@nzherald.co.nz