Sideswipe: March 20: The card no one wants

"I might be a bit socially awkward," writes a reader. "But on what occasion would you ever give this card?"

Awkward movie viewing moments

Comedy writer Siobhan Thompson asked her Twitter followers for their favourite at the movies experience ...

1. At Braveheart, when Mel Gibson gets tortured, old fella behind said loudly to his wife: "Ah, the rack! This could be nasty!"

2. During a screening of Love Actually, at the exact moment when Emma Thompson opens her Christmas present from Alan Rickman and it turns out to be a CD, my friend screamed "WHERE'S THE NECKLACE SNAPE???" at the top of his lungs and everyone broke.

3. My wife whispering "I bet he's dead" in the first two minutes of The Sixth Sense and hearing two rows of people all go "tcch".

A scene from The Lord of The Rings.

4. My mum pretty much hates sci-fi and fantasy but there was so much hype we went to go see LOTR ... As the second the movie ended, my mum says very loudly, "Oh my God, they didn't even destroy the bloody ring" and everyone was appalled ...

Very winded

A British person, unable to stand upright due to the wind, leaves and twigs smashing into their head, with eyebrows blown clean from their face and sore eyes watering with tears quickly whipped away by the gale, is unable to resist uttering: "Bit windy" (Via Very British Problems)

Slow progress

Daryl Pettit writes: "Like thousands of Aucklanders, I travel the Southern Motorway every day to and from work and like thousands of Aucklanders my frustration grows at the lack of activity and lack of progress being made with the upgrade between Manukau and Karaka. So far this year we have had two months of fine weather but very little progress. One would think that as it is already running behind, that the contracting companies would be throwing every asset they have to get ahead of the game, but this does not appear to be the case."