"On a tour of Lancaster Castle with my family, part of the tour involved getting locked in an old prison cell. When they shut the cell door, it plunged the 20 or so guests into complete darkness. I punched my brother's arm as hard as I could. Doors open, mortified Chinese tourist". (Via @amightystaff on Twitter)
The flying (missile) doctor
Your name is what?
1. "Years ago, working in Namibia, there was a baby in the ward I was working in called Teaspoon," writes a reader. "I've always wondered if he became Tablespoon when he grew up." Badum-tish!
2. "When working in an office I came across a couple called Horace and Doris Morris."
3. "One of the contestants on the current season of Married at First Sight has a 3-year-old daughter called Baby. Dirty Dancing has a lot to answer for."
Video Pick
Police reports in the small town of Port Townsend and Jefferson County, Washington, as read by locals and animated…