Sideswipe: June 13: Choir of spring onions

Playing dead

Continuing the pet stories: "My grandad got rung by a neighbour and told their dog had died and was lying out in the street. Grandpa drives over to pick the dog up and, well, it's not dead, just napping. It hops into the car and he drives home and parks in the garage and tries to get the dog out of his car and the dog just refuses to leave the warmth of the vehicle. So, my grandpa gets out and goes around to the other side to pull the dog out and then his car starts to roll backwards … straight through the closed garage door. Then the dog happily hops out."

Word play

A wonderful thread on Twitter for the word-lovers saw Eloise Leeson (@EloiseLeeson) tweet the following challenge: "Implausibly ruin a food item by changing one letter. I'll start: voleslaw." The best included, Pustard...Cornish Nasty...Wettuce...Pish Fingers... Soiled egg...Clap chowder... Rot Dogs...Minge and Potato Pie...Vegetable Spew... Retchup...Cinnamon Bums... Doghurt...Lasacne... Arsenips...Rottage Pie...Feetbix...Dread.

Must be the penguins

Antarctica New Zealand is letting the public choose the colour of the new Scott Base through an online vote – for either green, orange or blue. Voters are asked what region they live in, and the menu includes Antarctica - a nod to the 16 souls who are at the research station through the dark, cold, sunless months. But it seems the overwintering crew are not alone. Some 2000 people have adopted the postcode so far. That would work out at 23 people per bunk at the base, or some very clever penguins. Other honorary penguins can vote at colourscottbase.co.nz until midnight Tuesday.

That record won't be broken

'When I was a kid, we had a Guinness Book of Records lying around that we liked to browse in while bored. There was this one guy in it who held a record for most bikes eaten. No, you did read that right. He ground up a bike and slowly consumed it over I don't know how long a time. The record was accompanied by a note that no further records of bike eating would be accepted, as it was deemed too dangerous."