Sideswipe: January 25: Help wanted

German Fire Department recruitment poster... Photo / Supplied

Professional cliches shared on Twitter

1. "Hello, I'm an author. You may know me from my greatest hits, including: 'No, not like J. K. Rowling', 'exposure doesn't pay the bills', and 'I don't know, *have* you heard of me?'" (Joanna Harris — Chocolat)
2. "Hi, I'm a climate scientist. You may know me from my greatest hits including, 'No, it's not a natural cycle', 'Yes, I know it's been warmer before (and the only reason YOU know is because we scientists told you so)' and 'Just because it's on YouTube doesn't mean it's true'." (Katharine Hayhoe)
3. "Hi, I'm a freelance writer. You might remember me from such classics as, 'Yes I have heard about self-publishing' and 'Oh you'd like to write a novel too but never have? Do tell!'" (Christine Estima)
4. "Hi, I'm a mom. You might know me from some of my Greatest Hits like 'I thought your game was cancelled', 'please don't fart on your sister', 'why are there dirty socks in the refrigerator' and 'I've clearly failed as a mother, just wait until your father gets home'." (Elisabeth)

"Came back from a month away to discover our cucumbers had become very close," writes Mike Anda. Photo / Supplied

More on that Double Red

"I started work for DB in December 1983," writes Roger Clarke. "I was part of the team that helped launch Double Red/Bitter — and that was a long time after I started. So that bottle (and I had a few) was more like 1985. It was prompted by a reversal of DB's fortunes after the strike of the 1984/85 summer. DB's growing market share started to fall early 1985 and Lion Red grew," he explains.

"DB changed the very popular Double Brown brew to a more bitter brew. While continuing to market this more bitter Double Brown as if nothing had changed, DB also put the altered brew under the DB Red label (one brew with two or more labels was an economy of production practised extensively by both breweries).

"It was a loss on two fronts: the changed brew effectively killed of the traditional Double Brown following, and Double Red was also gazumped by Lion's legal action forcing a name change to Double Bitter. Double Brown never regained its old popularity and Double Bitter only ever claimed a minuscule market share."

Vern Tupper, who also worked for Dominion Breweries in the 60s, suggests if that Double Red brew is really old "the year of the bottling may well be embossed on the base of the bottle".

Got a Sideswipe? Send your pictures, links and anecdotes to Ana at ana.samways@nzherald.co.nz