Sideswipe: January 19: Supermarket Superstar

Mischief making on the Community Notice Board, Countdown, Ponsonby.

The best sandfly repellent: a handy penguin

New Zealand has no dangerous animals, birds or bugs, but it has one insect that left Cook's expedition with "ulcers like the small pox:" the sandfly. According to rednikki on MetaFIlter: "These blackflies, called namu in Māori, commit their dastardly deeds brazenly in the full light of day, using their serrated claws to saw through human flesh. Māori used crushed ngaio leaves to both repel them and soothe bites, while early settlers rubbed rancid bacon on their bodies to keep the critters away. Entomologists note that sandflies will leave humans alone if there is a delicious penguin nearby to feast on; however, the Department of Conservation frowns on the use of a personal penguin as pest deterrent. According to Maori legend, when Tu-te-raki-whanoa created the Fiordland, Hine-nui-te-po was worried humans would love its natural beauty too much to leave. She created the sandfly to convince them to move along. Allegedly, ten thousand bites will make you immune to their itch...if you can stand that many. The New Zealand Ministry of Health says "it is most common" to treat bites with antihistamine cream or calamine, but makes absolutely no statement as to whether such treatment works."

Every busker needs a gimmick this good

Modern First World Problems

1. When you buy a beach house on the ocean but sometimes the waves are too loud to go to sleep properly and you have to shut the windows and turn on the air conditioner.
2. When your name is Alexa and you can't use Amazon Alexa.
The facial recognition feature on my your $1,400 iPhone doesn't work because you have to wear a mask.
3. You often accidentally keep leaving your Mercedes unlocked because your Tesla auto locks when you walk away.
4. When your wife is a trained chef from a family of trained chefs and cooks amazingly; but you sometimes miss the poor people food you grew up eating.
5. When you just remodelled a bathroom and now it's too nice for the rest of the house so you have to do more remodelling to match.
6. When you lost some weight but you didn't take a "before" photo so you can't brag about it on social media.
7.When your new box of Kleenex is so tightly packed, the first few tissues tore when you pulled them out.
8. When the daycare your dog goes to doesn't feature him as frequently as you would like on their Instagram page.