Sideswipe: February 14: Wasn’t expecting that

Happy Valentine’s Day, here’s a stale chip in a ring box. Bound to go down well.

Photo / Supplied

Valentine’s Day fails

Fiona from Dunedin writes: “I have tried for the past two years to make a small, low-cost gesture toward the day of love but both times they have backfired. In 2021, I got busy with my son’s chalk and wrote a love note on the driveway, it rained and my husband parked over the smudge without noticing. In 2022, I slipped a couple of Kinder eggs into our bed and my Husband turned on the electric blanket and the bloody things melted, making a ruddy mess and much harumphing and bed-changing. This year I am doing nothing.”

Why walk 80 metres?

Spotted in Nelson by Mike Anda.

Waste not want not (round 2)

1. “My cousin once sprinkled a sponge cake with what he thought was icing sugar. It was Vim (powdered bleach). My mum took the cake away and said: ‘We’ll have to throw that now.’ My nan said: ‘Nonsense. Don’t waste it.’ Blew and brushed the Vim off and served it up.”

2. “My dad, born 1924, kept every Christmas card he was sent and recycled them to all the kids for birthdays, scribbling out the original inscription, putting in his own with money inside. He claimed they were only interested in the money. Caused much amusement. We miss those cards.”

3. “One meal my great-grandad had a gristly piece of meat he couldn’t chew. He gave it to Spit, the dog. Spit chewed it a while and wouldn’t swallow it so spat it out. My great-grandad picked it back up and ate it.”

4. “My grandad, after making a cup of tea, would hang his tea bags up on a little washing line (which he made out of a plant pot, two bamboo sticks and string) to dry out to reuse again and cut his tissues in half to make them go further.”

5. “My gran used to put leftover crisps (frequently less than 10) into a Tupperware container and store them until the next time crisps were on the menu, which could be months. They were bendy.”