Honesty is the best policy. "Saw this community noticeboard gem in Pak'nSave Rotorua," writes a reader.
Crumbed fish panned
This from the Dunedin News Facebook page: "Last night I saw two (clearly drunk) university students attempting what they call a crumbed fish out at St Kilda," writes Hamish. "This is where they swim naked, come into the beach and essentially 'crumb' themselves in the soft sand,appearing like a crumbed piece of fish. I was quite frankly disturbed. I wish the council would follow through with their promises and stop this kind of tomfoolery."
Milking gallon of laughs
Reviews of a gallon of milk on Amazon:
"Unfortunately, after a terrible night's sleep, I have concluded that this product is not suitable for use as a pillow."
"This is a fine milk, but the product line appears to be limited in available colours. I could only find white."
"I cannot say that Tuscan Whole Milk, 1 gal, 128 fl oz, was entirely responsible for my winning the Sveriges Riksbank Nobel Prize in Economic Sciences. However, I would be remiss in not mentioning it."
"Has anyone else tried pouring this stuff over dry cereal? A-W-E-S-O-M-E!"
"Bought it for my cousin who had cancer, item never arrived and my cousin died."
"You know, if you click on the different image views, it looks like it's coming to GET you ... "
"WANTED: Somebody to buy milk on the internets with me. This is not a joke. You'll get paid after we drink it. Must bring your own weapons and be able to crawl through a series of tubes. Safety not guaranteed. I have only done this once before."
Not much
City hall perfect place for mare
Lizzie Logan tweets: "There is a line in TV show 30 Rock, where Kenneth mentions the mayor of his hometown is a female horse and I just realised a female horse is a mare. She is the mare of the town."