Sideswipe: Decant your canine elsewhere

Feedback like a stingy slap

Back in 1998, The Economist ran an article which resulted in a record amount of feedback for its author. The subject at hand was children: "For children, just like cigarettes or mobile phones, clearly impose a negative externality on people who are near them. Anybody who has suffered a 12-hour flight with a bawling baby in the row immediately ahead or a bored youngster viciously kicking their seat from behind, will grasp this as quickly as they would love to grasp the youngster's neck." The piece later went on, with tongue somewhat in cheek, to propose "child-free zones" in all airplanes, trains, and restaurants, and the introduction of taxes on youngsters. This letter was published two weeks later: "Sir, you are wrong when you say that children are like cigarettes or mobile telephones. No one has to smoke or use a mobile phone, but everyone has to be a child and you were once one too. You need children to pay for the pensions of miserable old people like you. Now pick on someone your own sise. Yours, Jessica Morley (aged 6)."

Close but no cigar

Recent record breaking

A loud, long-beaked, rust-coloured bird broke the world record for longest nonstop flight in 2020. On September 16, a male bar-tailed godwit known as "4BBRW'' set off from southwest Alaska and flew for 11 days straight to New Zealand, traveling a distance of about 7581 miles (12,200 km), taking rounding errors into consideration. The previous record was held by a female bar-tailed godwit that flew around 7145 miles (11,500km) over nine days in 2007. Bar-tailed godwits are known to be impressive flyers, but 4BBRW's journey — prolonged by easterly winds — was extra impressive.

Old slang terms for occupations

8. Haberdasher of pronouns (teacher)
7. Nob-thatcher (wig maker)
6. Apronman (mechanic)
5. A lick-finger (a cook)
4. Mutton shunters (police officers)
3. Adjective-jerkers (journalists)
2. Agony-pilers (actors)
1. Knights of the napkin (waiters)

Advice for life

1. My husband's family has money. When we were first starting out, we were encouraged to ask his grandparents for help, but we didn't want to. When we bought our first home, they were "offended" that we got a mortgage from a bank instead of using "family money". Twenty years later, we are happy in our own little bubble. We have no stake in any family drama, and we only visit when we feel like it. We don't owe anybody a damn thing, and even though it sometimes sucks to be the poor relations, the peace of mind is priceless.
2. Work-life balance in my job. Nothing is ever on fire, nothing has to be dealt with at 11 at night or on the weekends regardless of who's sending messages at those times. I protect my evenings and weekends with a ferocity.